I'm being misunderstood!

Heard something shocking today. Actually, I've been asked something shocking. Seems like rumours have been going around. In office! My manager and my seniors had to come up to my face for clarifications. I was like "What the hell?" "How come you people are telling me things about myself that even I have no idea about?" They were all over me with, "Is it true that....?" "I heard from this particular person that you....." "People have been talking....."

Gosh, I didn't even do anything! People and their wild imaginations. They can literally come up with anything. I didn't think that the way I am has brought up so many curiosities at work. Well, people don't usually work in ofiice. They do lots of other things. Like gossiping. And eavesdropping? And then everything goes back to my seniors and manager. Nice!

I didn't think that people have different perceptions of me from the way I live my life. Maybe I was portraying the wrong side of me. Or maybe I was hiding the real side of me. All I know is that they got me all wrong. "We know you are....." "Don't lie la. We know what you did last weekend...." They got the facts partly and guessed the other half of it. And out came a new version of me. Yay! And then came all the ridiculous perceptions.

I don't intend to clarify. It's hard to change the way people think. Prove is all it takes.

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Christmas 2007

It was a real cold Christmas this year. First it was raining, and it had to rain on the eve where we planned to celebrate it in Genting Highlands. You guys got what you wanted. My peps have been talking about going to Genting for as long as I can remember. Even though we've been there for like a zillion times already.

So, with colourful lights, eye-catching decos, hundreds of people, freezingly cold wind and in the company of close friends, we counted down to Christmas 2007 at the open carpark in front of the Highlands hotel. Not really a count down actually. Cause a lot of people were counting down and we got rather confused as to which was the actual time. So, we just stood watch. Yea. Just watched. Another Christmas with my close friends. Damn. Even then, something was seriously missing. The feel is there. The time is perfect. The atmostphere was something to remember. There's simply no right person around to complete my Christmas eve. Damn.

We were lucky enough to get last minute rooms at the First World Hotel. After all these years, things within the group has definitely changed. Well, at least in room plannings. During our first few outings (years ago), we were 'shy'. Girls and guys would sleep in separate rooms. Recently, we don't seem to care that much. It's couples one room. Non-couples one room. A mix of everyone in a room.

Well, this year's Christmas was so-so only la. I mean, how much fun could you possibly have in Genting. I'm no longer 10 years old. It's just the company that I'm into. Yea. And I enjoyed the company of you people.

By the way. it's either I don't get it or you people don't get it. When FRIENDS get together, it's called a GROUP OUTING! Decipher the meaning yourself.

So, Merry Belated Christmas. It was definitely a very cold one this year.

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My Only Wish This Year

One catchy song. One that I've been playing all the time. Well, it is the only Christmas song that matches me all these years. And my wish never did came true. Listen to it and you'll know. Enjoy the song!

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Loner

I try not to think of myself as one. But sometimes, it's very hard not too when you don't have someone to call your own. People around have been telling me, " Aiseh, you don't need one now. You're still young. Opportunities will come your way. After all, you have friends around you. They can fill your time. You should be contented."

Yea. There are friends around. Some might think that I have a lot to choose from. My weekends would most probably be filled with events that I could not resist. Parties. Movies. Shoppings. Dinners. Hangouts. Is that the type of impression I give people about myself? Well, I can tell you one thing that holds so true after all has happened lately. Nothing is forever. Nothing stays with you.

So what if I have tonnes of friends whom I can call whenever I want? Friends are just friends. They are not obligated to keep you company. You will never know what does it feels like to not able to find a single person to accompany you when you wanted someone to. People come. People go.

I know I've shown pictures of me and my close friends or "gangs" on friendster and facebook. People that are really close and I enjoyed my time with them. But as I said, nothing is forever. I was having a drink with a gang of them just moments ago and I could forsee that we will definitely split up. We will not be as close to each other as we had before. Things just happen you know. People do change. Situations change. And what can you do to make them remain the same as before? That's the unpredictability in life.

The sting of loneliness gets more deadly when I see couples in love together. Especially so when they are within the group. Not to say that it's a bad thing. I do understand the affections. But sometimes it just reminded me of how pathetic I am. How where I don't have anyone to care about or anyone to be concerned of. I am sincerely happy for friends who gets into relationships. But it's also the point where I realise that I would be going to loose them. They defintiely won't have time for me anymore. The statement holds true for every friend of mine that has gotten into any relationship. That is why I'm sometimes kinda afraid to hear the news. I would rather not know.

It is getting more intensed lately. When I thought that I had found people who would really hang out with me, people who are in the same situation, it suddenly came crashing down that all my thoughts are never meant to be true. And I was thrown back to my original state when my friends left for their other halfs. I am left hanging in alone again. As it has always been.

I have no intention of sounding desperate. I know I won't be able to find someone in life. That's just my luck you know. I do suck at relationships. I was planning to live life as it is and enjoy every moment of me being a person. I was thinking that if maybe I have my friends around and that I'm doing what I like to do, I can kill my loneliness gradually. But my friends are no longer around. And I don't have a purpose in what I'm doing. I'm just like floating on to no where seeking for directions or some light that could lead me out of this misery.

Happiness doesn't stay long too. Like what I told this friend of mine. There would always be an end to the happiness experienced. And at every end, there would be a beginning. A beginning. An end. A beginning. An end. Just how many times can you find ways to overcome the ending and to start anew? And just how many times can you bear the pain of the ending? I'm getting tired. I no longer know what to do.

After this entry, I would think that I'm a loner. Yes, I am one. A loner.

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REC Industrial Update

It was actually a training la. Only the name sounds abit canggih. Industry update. It is an annual thing done by the managers in my department to update us on the recent chnages in FRSs and some other things that we should know for the upcoming peak for audit firms.

This year's industry update was held at the KGPA. To be honest, training was only done for the first half of the day. It was so brief that I didn't really quite understood what was it all about. And after some time, we were simply not listening anymore. I meant, me and my gang. We were seated right up at the front, chatting and exchanging pictures. C'mon. We were bored. Yea, yea, yea. I know it was rude.

And then, for the second half of the day, we had team building exercises. I don't know about it, but that's quite a regular thing in my department as well. Suka-suka, team building. Suka-suka play team games. So what did we do? First, there's this human bingo. Then, the human spider, where they tied our hands to one end of a string and we had to entangle ourselves from it. Then we had to build a bridge out of newspapers that could hold a full 1.5 litre mineral bottle. Tough huh? But my team managed to do it. Yay!

After the games, we hung out at my colleague's place to freshen up before heading to Tropicana Golf and Country Club for a dinner. It's part of the training as well. There's a dress code this year. We can only go in 3 colours. And each colour signifies your love status. Red for the married and unattached. Orange for those who has complicated relationships and green for singles and availables. If you don't dress to the code, you'll get punished. The organizing committee was forcing us to make our stand. Haha. No need to guess, I went in green. Obviously. But, the room was mostly in red and green. Some don't really dress to their status anyway. It was all just for fun.

The juniors and newcomers got orientated that night. So we sat back, feasted and enjoyed the show. Their orientation performance was all about TV series : CSI, American Idol, America's Next Top Model, Heroes, Desperate Housewives. Then we had some lucky draws. Orientated the newly promoted managers with some real embarrasing catwalks. Crowning of our very own Mr and Ms REC. Which went to the managers la by the way. Played some more games. More cheerings and clappings And not to forget, photo snappings.

The night ended rather late with a gift exchange event. Since Christmas is coming rite? I got a small musical Xmas tree. In white and pink. Lovely. It's sitting on my shelf now. It was another wonderdul night. I had fun.

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Annual Dinner and Dance 2007

There was no rush this year. No rain. Everything was well planned from the start right till the end. From attire, to make up, to transportation to post ADD events.

Held at the Shangri-La Hotel again, this year was my second participation. And it sure was better than last year. The theme set was "Colours of Malaysia : Celebrating 50 years of Independence". As usual, we didn't dressed to the theme. My attire was acquired at some boutique at Sunway Pyramid. A dark turquoise halter neck, knee length dress with some glittery beads at the front. To my liking and affordable, so I went for it.

We arrived on time for the dinner. A table has already been reserved for the "gang". A whole 10 of us. No more. No less. And it was absolutely fun. To be surrounded with familiar people and those whom you clicked with. The night went along with tonnes of picture takings, beer drinkings, flirtings, and joke crackings.

There were not much activities being laid out for the night. A few songs were belted out by some local jazz band. A few lucky draws which I tak kena. Crowning of the best dressed male and female of the night. The only performance worth remembering for the night was an appearance by Harith Iskandar. Our local king of comedy. Well, maybe not the king but he was damn good. Good at words. Good at acting. Good at keeping his audiences at the edge of their seats. The whole ballroom was full of laughter from the moment he walked on stage to the end of his show some 40 minutes later. * Thumbs up*

As a bunch of young adults, no way we were going to head home after the dinner rite? Since this would be the last ADD that we would be together. So the few of us headed down to Poppy for a second round of dancing and boozing. Actually, we ended up at Passion Bar. Got ourselves a little drunk over a bottle of Barcadi Lemon, went wild dancing on the dance floors, snapping more pictures, had some more in depth heart-to-heart talk, drank some more and continued dancing. Yeah man. A real eye-opener. I never knew my fellow colleagues could be that wild. It was definitely fun. Much more fun. I'll never forget that night.

We had a third round of drinking after the club closed at 3 am. We went to a nearby mamak for a teh tarik session. Imagine mamak ambience with dresses and shirts. So damn cacat. But we needed to cool down to avoid getting blocked by the police. And to fill our growling tummies after using up all energies on the dance floor. But we didn't managed to stay long there as all of us were already dead tired. Make ups were melting. Feet were wobbly. Heads were spinning. And some one was throwing up on the streets. Aiseh, time to balik rumah. And so we did. Reached home at 5 in the morning.

Took a fast shower and immediately crashed on the bed when the cock started to crow. Woke up some 9 hours later with the previous night's events still clear in my head. It was a night to last a lifetime.

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So, I'll see you around...

I took my car to the car wash earlier and while I was waiting for my 'baby' to be done, I got engaged in a conversation with this fella there. He was driving a Myvi as well, so we came to talk about Myvi cars. Heck! What do I know about cars right? I am not interested in how they work. So long as they are able to get me to where I wanted to go in one piece, I'm fine with it. Yea, you could say that I'm one typical girl. Anyway, I just blurted out what ever knowledge I had about cars just so to get the conversation going.

He came before me and they finished off his car first. As he turned to leave, he said, "So, I'm making a move first. See you around." I merely smiled and nodded back. Then it got me thinking. This is one fella that I've never met and I probably would never meet again. It got me puzzled as to how is he going to "see me around". He didn't know where I lived and I didn't know his place of residence either. Both of us being at the same car wash, at the same time, was just a mere coincidence. I don't think I would want to see him again anyway.

Wonder if people atually do get the meaning of that phrase. Cause from my perspective, it would mean that you are about to take off and there's a very high possibility that you would meet that someone again. Maybe you work in the same place or maybe you frequent the same cafe or something. You might not meet everyday. But there's a possibility that you might bump into each other.

Definitely not in situations where you know 100% that you won't be meeting the person again. It just sends the wrong message out man. But I guess, it would be the appropriate thing to say in this urban culture of ours. A form of courtesy. Whether you know a particular person or not. It does sounds nice and proper. Even though the meaning is misleaded.

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