Chameleon

People change according to their environment. People change according to situations surrounding them. Just like a chameleon. Changing 'colours'.

I did something not me. Obviously it was not something nice. There was no rational to it. I acted on the spur of the moment. I felt the need to be protective of myself. I felt the need to stand up in my own name. And for that, I did something selfish. Something I which I'm not proud off. Something I regretted soon after.

I don't think it'll work if I make up to it later on. Cause you simply can't undo certain things. What's done is done. It might not sound so serious as it seems, but it just wasn't me. If I had taken a few minutes to think about it, to see the better of things, I might not have done what I did.

My 'colours' have changed.

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On my 24th...

I can't resist not to blog about it. It was my birthday after all. Even though it was a week ago. And that was my favourite cake this year. An ice-cream one from Haagen Dazs. Fully lighted with candles. Bright and sweet.

My celebrations lasted a week. From one end to the other. And I was indeed very happy throughout all the celebrations. This year was the best! Thank you all so very much.

First celebration was organised by my fellow gang at work. Was supposed to be a surprised one as I was informed that we were celebrating for someone else. Someone let the cat out of the bag and I found out that it was a joint celebration for me as well. Suprise no more! We had dinner at Nihon-Kai. Made a whole lot of fuss. Had my first cake for the year. Blew my first candles. Made my first wish. And cut my first cake.We then proceeded to Souled Out in Sri Hartamas for a booze session. The remaining of the night was all about car accidents and STDs. Uncle was very interested. =P

It has always been a tradition to celebrate my actual day with my family. We went for a seafood dinner. Fish. Prawns and sotongs. Yumm. Yumm. Had my second cake for the year later on. Blew my second set of candles. Made my second wish and cut my second cake.

Third celebration came a day later with my other 'family' from college. They booked me for a Redbox session at Sunway Pyramid. I was late. Didn't they tell you that the main person always make a later appearance? Nevertheless, the singing continued. I don't know what's with them, but songs selections were based on the 70's and 80's. Reminising the past, people? Had my third cake. Blew my third set of candles. Made my third wish and cut my third cake. Okay. I can't cut the cake. Someone left it in the freezer and it was literally froozen.Took quite alot of effort to finish the whole thing up.

We can be a very good example of budaya lepak. Cause all we did later on was just standing and doing nothing. Without purpose. Without directions. We walked from one end of the Pyramid to the other, stood in front of some shops and started to talk crap. Too tired of standing? We went in to some restaurant for tea. Waited for time to pass before heading out for dinner. There goes another one of 'our'days.

Come Sunday and my mates from high school asked me out for a steamboat lunch. All right. So, off we went to Puchong for one. It was a shabu-shabu steamboat buffet. We grabed what ever we wanted from the kaiten belt. Macam la we've been starving for weeks! We ordered all kinds of fried stuffs cause one of them said it was good. We covered the table with so many plates until we couldn't find space for more. This bunch of girls are just NUTS! Lunch took around 2 hours.

As if our gossips and picture snappings were not enough, we went over to IOI mall, stepped into Starbucks and continued our 'thing'. We talked about work. About relationships. About friends. About other people. Girls stuffs la. Those usual thing.But no cake from this group. Lucky they were smart enough not to buy one. I don't think I can take in any more creams. =P

I noticed this one thing in common from all my celebrations. All my cakes were topped with 2 strawberries on them. And I didn't manage to eat a single one. I made the same wish before blowing of the candles for each cake. Hmmm...not tellin' ya!

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Up on the Sky

I made it to Sky! Rushed down to Traders last night so that I could get my mind off work. The place is cool. The ambience is totally my type.

Having a cool drink in my hands....
Lazing on the pillows....
Along with hip music....
High up above the city...
Chilling with some friends....
Awesome!

a view from the entrance

don't you just love this view

a few of them...

We shall continue the 'lobster' game next round.

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My "miracle"

When times are low, when times get rough, they'll surely have this "something" to get me going. Must be the years I've spent growing up with them. Even if it's just a brief chat. Or just a mere presence. I tend to listen to them. My pillars of strength. Bet you people didn't know about that huh?

It's nothing la. I sometimes just look up on them. You might not think of yourself as that important, but you know how friends can mean to me. Especially childhood ones. After all, my memories with them have all been sweet. You people are definitely irreplaceable. Just thought that you all should know.

Anyway, there would be a huge gathering coming soon. Entire class of '96. A few are in the process of organizing. No worries, all would be invited. Make sure you turn up. I can hardly wait.

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I exploded

My temper has been flying all over these few days. It's either I've been getting more sensitive or people have been real idiotic. Every little thing pissed me off. I was not being myself. I threw tantrums. I unleashed my anger at who ever that got onto my nerves. I was mad at practically everything.

I simply hate inconsiderate people. Those that do not think about others. Those that only care about themselves and expects everyone to be like them. Some people just do not know the meaning of family and friends. They are willing to sacrifice both in the name of their careers. Sounds very mulia. I would say that's a totally stupid thing to do. Just how long have you known your 'career'? How long have you known your family and friends? You are willing to spend all your time and energy for your job which you've gotten into for like 3 years...and you have the heart to abandon those that have been with you for almost all your life? You missed every gathering. You missed every catch up. You missed every outing just so that you can meet that deadline set by your superiors? I get the need to be responsible, but if it's up to the extent that you no longer know who your family and friends are, then you are such a sad case. I'm sorry la, but that's not the kind of person that I would want to be. I can't, I won't and I will never be. Work is not really that important.

Another batch are those that live life by relying on others. Those that expects others to tell them what to do. How to do. And even better, just do it for them. If you don't, they will start to blame you for it. Blame you for not lending a helping hand. Hello?? When in the world that others are obligated to do you a favour? If I can do it on my own then, why can't you do it yourself now? Just because you had someone to back you up, just because you had someone to cushion your fall, just because someone's been there before you, it gives you the right to take advantage of the situation and of that person as well? I don't call it as being smart. It's selfish and it's rude. Are you that crippled? Or did you just got infected with 'down-syndrome' that you need others to spoon feed you? Just how old are you anyway? Grow up!

I was mad at myself. That's why I was mad at everyone. I kick myself for not voicing out my dissatisfactions. I knew I was being taken advantage of and sometimes I wonder why did I allow myself to be treated that way. Why did I allow myself to change for the sake of other people? Why can't I be me and let others adapt to me for once? Why do I want to leave a good impression of myself in the eyes of others? I was pretty tired of always being the goody good girl. Of doing what others expect of me. Of fulfilling others needs and dreams. I want to be wild. I want to be me. I want to do as I wish. I just don't have enough courage to do so. I was pulling my own reins. And for this, I was indeed mad at myself.

If only I could just not care. To just ignore. To be rebelious.

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Trusty Kancil sold

Our Kancil has been sold. After 13 long years of service. It was still in a good shape though. Only that my folks are of the opinion that it was time to let it go. And to get something new, perhaps? Hehe.

So, if you happen to drop by my place from now on, you won't be able to see the familiar sight of that little thing being parked under the tree right in front of the gate any longer. It's gone. Into the hands of another good buyer, I hope.

That's one car that 'saw' me through primary school, all the way to high school, till the day I graduated from college and to my first job. It has gone through alot. With all my reckless driving when I was a freshie back then. Not to mention the time when all 7 of us cramped into it. Amused the college security. Haha. I could never forget the look on that man's face... =p

Adios Kancil!
I didn't even get to say goodbye...

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