What if?

Well, maybe not a duck, but....

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Pampered. Rebelious. Princess.

I thought I have outgrown them.

I should be more composed, more rational, more matured.

But these are not me. I realised, in doing so, I've become so much more agitated. I've become so much more hot tempered. I've become so miserable.

Why the hell did I choose to be someone not me?

I would be so much more happier being that rebelious, self-centred brat that I used to be. Who cares what the others have to say? Who cares what the world would think?

If you can't accept the way I am, feel free to get out of my life.

I will always be that whiny, pampered princess.

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The donkeys

Being friends is a funny thing. You managed to cling together after all the differences.

Yes, there are times you have been an asshole. There are times you annoy too much. There are times you have been a total pain. There are times you have caused troubles. There are times where we wanted to scream at you. So much so that we have to put up with you.

But despite it all, we still managed to enjoy the company we have. We still managed to laugh it off and somehow be there for one another.

I looked at these pictures and shake my head. How on earth did I ended up with them?

 

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The Return

The initially thought was perhaps, this has been out-grown. With the likes of Facebook and Instagram, there really isn't a need to maintain this page. Pictures and events could be shared on them. The double re-posting here could be done away. So this have been left alone for close to 6 months now. There was even a thought to have this page closed off.

But it seemed like the urge to write has not died away. Although other social media tools have allowed the posting of pictures, but nothing beats the blank page here that allows words to be typed freely. With no constraints.

And so, the writing continues....

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The people that I would always miss

It's been a couple of months since the last entry. I wonder if my readers are still following me. But I don't care. You read as you please. I write as I please.

This page has become more like a hideout. No troubles, no posts. Something unsettling happens, and here I vent it all out. I guess one would have noticed the patterns.

Well, I just wanted to say that I really miss you guys a lot. A whole lot.

I don't know how else to let you all know.

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Something I don't usually do....

I have never been to any concerts or showcases or autograph sessions or award ceremonies. Okay. May be just once. Bad experience. That's why I have never went to any of it again. Not even when Jay Chou was in town.

I disliked the screaming fans. I disliked having to crowd with a bunch of unknown people, being pushed up and down, for the sake of getting a glimpse of their idol. I don't see a point in it. Artiste are just humans as well. Nothing more. May be a little more talented. May be a little more good looking.

I declined, at first, when a close friend asked me to accompany her to watch her close friend perform. I am not standing below the stage, holding a camera and scream at some artiste. But after some persuasion, I finally went. Yes, I did. And after I heard a couple of her songs, I acknowledged her talent. Great voice. Worth to be supported.

And who is this local artiste? None other than our very own Karen Kong. Haven't heard of her? Well, perhaps you would recognize her as the leading actress in the accused controversial Nasi Lemak 2.0 movie released last year.

There she is. Right in the middle.

 For the second time after a very long time, I stood below the stage, held a camera and snapped pictures of an artiste - of her.

And, no, I didn't scream for her or asked for her autograph. I am way pass that stage. But I did wanted to get a picture together with her. Unfortunately, I have no access back stage.

Perhaps, my dear friend (if you are reading this), can make an arrangement for that?  :)

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This is not dead

Been gone for 3 months. Always had the urge to write but not the time to do so. So much has happened. So much to update. Now I'm back to revive my page.

Stay tuned!

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Basking in laziness

Slouching on couches, with 'Glee' in tow.
Afternoon shoppings with my girls.
Catching ups at Starbucks.
Half a day at the hairdresser's.
A copy of Cleo with a cup of hot choc.
Grocery shoppings with mum.
Farmville on Facebook.
Another half a day at the beauty parlour.

Now this is what I call living life!

(It's only temporary. There's no need to be jealous...)

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Dazed

Late the other night, I slumped against the couch and stared at the ceiling, with all sorts of thoughts running through my mind. From the past, the present and the future.

When I finally snapped out of it, 3 hours had gone by. It was already 3 am. And the next thing I knew, I had peeled of all my nails....

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Oppsy!

I looked out the window and saw the sun setting. So soon? A check on my watch tells me that it's already 6.40pm. Oh my!

Yet another day has gone by. Oh well....

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Random thoughts

The steady breathing came down through the left ear. The chin rested comfortably on the left shoulder. The strong arms found their way around the neck. The heart beat was 'heard' down the spine. The grip was tight, yet it was secure. It was warm. A gaze to the left saw those tender brown eyes gazed back down. Ever so loving. Ever so caring. The grip grew tighter. The tender brown eyes closed. Taking in the moment. Savouring the few minutes that would end too soon.

A playful thought crept to mind. A hard bite was made to the right arm. The tender brown eyes flashed opened. A pained look stared back. But no words were let out. The breathing grew faster and unsteady. The message was clear. The bite was released. But the grip was never loose. The grip still held on. There was silence. The few minutes passed too quickly. The strong arms pulled back.....

"Everytime I close my eyes, I picture your arms around me. Damn. I miss you."

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Sun set

I had the most remarkable view of the sun setting yesterday evening. No. I don't have to hike up hill. Neither do I have to be at some beach to wait for it. All I need to do is stand by the window, and there, at eye level, I get to see the bright, round, orange sun disappeared slowly amongst the mountains.

And the sky. The sky was a perfect blend of pink, orange and yellow colours. Surrounded by dark blue and grey. For that whole 5 minutes, as the sun sets, the view was totally breathtaking. You'd see the sky changes colours without the light of the sun and then gradually, it became pitch black. And from far below, the lights of buildings and streets and cars made the view so much more memorable. The land below stretches for as far as your eyes takes you. As you wander into nothing-ness, you get the company of small flickering lights in between. You'd feel calm. You'd feel at peace. You'd feel like spreading your wings and fly.

Okay. Okay. I know it's not good enough to allow your imagination to run. Never mind. What I saw yesterday was indescribable. And I saw sun set at eye level! Eye level man! It was enough to make my day.

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Sayang sayang

C'mon! Surely everyone wants to be disayang. It can come in many forms. But no matter what form it is, it never fails to tickle the heart. It never fails to bring out some warmth. It never fails to make you feel special.

So keep the love going on out there and sayang back those that sayang you. It's a pretty good feeling. It'll make your day!

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At the end of today...

I felt...

1) ...that I failed as a leader
2) ...that I looked awful in my favourite top
3) ...that I looked horrible with panda eyes
4) ...disgusted with myself
5) ...that I croaked when I talk
6) ...that I sucked at what I am doing
7) ...that people disliked me
8) ...that I am not that good after all

Today is one of those days, again.

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Managing people

Humans are the most complicated creatures ever alive.

If you are able to get few different bunch of people in order and keep all of them happy, while maintaining your cool all the while, I will definitely salute you. Hats off!

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Play.Play.Play.

Tai kar jie told me so. Tai kar jie said life is short. And since we are still young, better make the most out of it. Cause there may never be a tomorrow. So there's no need to restrain in doing the things that your heart tells you to. Just go for it! Even if it doesn't work out, at least you've given it a shot. And that's something worth living for. Of course don't make it something illegal la.

Tai kar jie told me to have fun. To play. "Why waste it all away? Spice up la a little. There's so much more to this world than it meets the eye. So get up and get a life!" Tai kar jie knocked some senses into me. And now I'm like all wide awake.

Yes. All the play came from tai kar jie. And I listen to my tai kar jie. So I shall play. Sounds like a little kid. Play. Sounds irresponsible as well. By the way, my play doesn't mean that I skip work to catch a movie ( as what someone defined it ) or blowing bubbles at some stranger. That, is child's play. I am planning on having a more matured kind of playing....

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Remedy...

* Lets play swing...*

*Me love Rachie...Rachie loves me*

Just what I need to maintain a certain sanity in life...

I had a good few hours of total lepaking...

Thank you folks!

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