Dumb & dumberer

Dumb. Fool. Naive. Stupid. Dolt. What ever you wish to call it. It doesn't matter. It portrays the same meaning anyway. That would be me when I woke up 2 hours earlier.

Often people would comment on how lucky I am to have a large group of friends. Close friends that you'll feel comfortable doing all kinds of silly silly stuffs together. Hanging on the cell for 4 hours straight. Staying up all through the night. Going for trips in the wee hours of the morning. Draging you home after a night of clubbing. Yea. When the moment comes, I do actually feel lucky. It's a comfort to know that I could always fall back on some one when ever I needed to.

But there is a downside to it. When you know people for far too long, when you get more than close to them, when everything you do would be a norm, you'll start to build certain expectations.Which is actually a real dumb thing to do.You'll expect them to call. You'll expect them to count you in on outings. You'll expect them to update you on the on-goings in their life. When they don't, you'll start to wonder if you are part of the group.

Why do you miss them so much when they don't? Why do you want to hang out with them when they don't? Why do you leave some weekends for them when they don't even know? Why do you call them when they think that you are bothering them? Why do you still treat them just as nice when they treat you like crap? Why do you still act as if nothing has happened when you know for sure that you've been taken advantaged of? Why do you still want to believe them when you know words are going to be taken back after some time? Why do you live up to your promises when theirs are so rightfully broken? How can you still afford to smile when you desperately want to hug someone and let you heart out?

Yea. Me. Dumb. As always. Tolerating and giving in. Never making a stand. Not up to me to make any stands anyway. Give others pleasure. Giving me pain. Nah. Didn't blame anyone. Doesn't give me a right to. I was mad. I was disappointed. But it was all in me. Friends are friends. They will only be friends. Can't expect too much. Never expect too much.