A little blabber...

It's been a tiring week. I was working late everyday. I know mine was considered nothing compared to those who'd been staying late for the past few months. But I kan princess? It's good enough already that I worked all the way till 12. The only thing that kept me going was my kaki-es around to keep the night alive and crappy.

"Hey, lunch together?" A message I got at 10 in the morning. "Eh, jom makan malam." Another message came at 4.30pm. And then there was the fun of bombarding ourselves with emails every other minute. Or the chills and jokes we made at each other during office hours. Now where in the world can you find this kind of job? Hah.

But out of no where, I was feeling rather down. Not about work. Not about family. Not about friends. Guess it's just me la. As usual. Mood swings. That's why you see me here at this hour, after a long day at work. I probably should be in bed, but I just need to get this thing out.

I know exactly where my problem lies. I know exactly what is it that would lift my spirits. It's just not up to me to decide if I could get it. Not my say. Not my call. I tried to use friends to compensate. But it's just different. They could never give me what I wanted. And they wouldn't stay for long. I do feel sorry for myself at times. I wonder if others feel the same as well.

Why is it so hard to get someone to listen to what I need to let out? I was always the one listening. When will people ever going to listen to me? Don't la see me as a being so tough. The tougher I look, the more vulnerable I actually am. I am, after all, still a girl.

My vision is getting blurry. Time to crash.