A weekend trip down to JB

Before I even start with anything, a very big thank you to both HK and Pa for driving all of us down. Tiring, I know. So thank you!

The trip down has its purpose. To attend Dia's open house. "Wah! All the way there just for one night? You people must be good friends huh?" That's what I got when I told people of my plans for the weekend. Yea. We are close friends. Or maybe we were just merely accompanying Pa to meet his girl. Hah! *Shrugs*

Not much to tell. Because we didn't really go to alot of places. All we did was eat. We departed at 6 am. We were suppose to reach in time for this good breakfast. But our plan side tracked a little, so, we missed the breakfast. We starved till lunch before Dia took us to this place for home-cooked meals. Then it's off to Jusco Tebrau for a little shopping. Met up with Kenny and Jac there and we had a short talk over cakes and ice-creams. Yummm. By the way, it's good to see you again man. Still the same old Kenny. You have not changed one bit at all.

Went back just in time for the open house meal. Eat...again. Buffet style catering. The usuals laa..You know. Dinner was not really digested when we headed out for supper. This time for some real delicious "kuey teow soup". Suprisingly they were still open even at 1 am. So late night supper, then early breakfast of fried lobak the next morning, then lunch of wantan mee. Did I mention we had like 70-80 pieces of wantan? No, I didn't. And now I did. I kept telling them I was full on each meal. And they kept deducing that I am a small eater. Well, now you know why.

Thinking about it, there were some "interesting" incidents along the way. In just that one day. We played with balloons. And burst a few of them. The guys were trying to 'make out' with one another. Took a spin down to JB town to find hookers and 'aquas'. Watched Singaporeans pump gas at this one particular Shell station only. Ran over a cat. And left it flipping with pain by the road. Yea. Cruel us. Watched some drunkard shouting all over by the road. Went over to Danga Bay to walk a little. And that's about it. One short trip.

The only part I like was when we were hanging out on the balcony after dinner. Chatting. Blasting songs. And staring into the dark sky. I like to be in the company of friends. Doesn't matter if we were not really doing anything. :)

P/S: Dia, I hope we didn't messed up your room badly. Thanks for having us around.

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The nicest thing I heard in weeks

"No matter what, you will forever be my friend. You do not need to change. Not in front of me. Not in front of us. You are always free to be yourself . Rest assured."

That truly made my day. I was touched.

Thank you so much.

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Got a parking ticket!

"Just park by the road laa. Can wan la. Everyone's doing that also what." That's how my friend "convinced" me into getting a parking ticket later on. Hah!

It was after dinner. Too early to head home, so we went down town to this cafe for a drink. It's called Wingz. There..those cafes which became usual hangout places for youngsters in the chinese community lately...dimly lighted...sofas...curtains...chinese live bands...scented teas...card games....Think Station 1 and GasOline and you'd get the idea.

So we were there. To chill. To check out hotties. And to spill it all out. Something like truth or dare. Everyone picks a card. The person with the "Ace" calls out a number. The person with the number called will have to answer one question posed by the "Ace" holder. And you have to tell the truth. It was a good one. We got answers to questions we wanted to ask all along but didn't dared to. We get to talked about alot of things that we'd been dying for people to hear. We discussed alot of things. We share our experiences and opinions. A rather big hoo-hah. We talked loud. We laughed loud. Flirted with the waiters. Poke fun at each other. Acted rather roughly. We didn't care! It was a girls' night out! You'd dare to do anything if you know you are dominant in numbers. =P

Yeah. Amidst all the fun, 3 hours later, I paid the price. Came out of the cafe with this big parking ticket waiting for me on my windscreen. Nice! I'm never going to return the this Wingz. And the ticket is not going to stop me from parking on yellow lines in the future either. ;)

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On a night like this

It's 2 am. Guess what? I am still at work. High up on the 47th floor in the middle of the city. The roads below are bare. No people. Very very few vehicles. The people I work with do bore me sometimes. Or I should say, I do not click with them. I seriously have no idea why did I voluntered to stay on. Cause what I do have no relevance to the purpose of staying late tonight. Yea. I should just probably leave. But my car was parked rather far away. I am a little worried in getting to it at this hour alone. Or maybe I should just take the risk. I feel totally out of place. I hope that this would end really soon so that I'd be able to get away and do something more useful. At least.

Well, on the brighter side, I have the internet connection to complain a little here. Where else can you get to blog while enjoying KL city's night view on an armchair? Well, the conference room that we are in is for the expense of high profiled management. And my mum keeps popping me messages to get home as soon as possible. Man! No one does understand. No one even bothered when I called to ask for some advices. Yea. All were sound asleep with their phones shut off. Talk about urban civilisation. There you have it. It's every one for their own.

I no longer know what to say. Life. It lifts you up. It pulls you down deeper. When I thought there wasn't hope anymore, there was light. When I was high on hopes, a brick was thrown right into face, shattering everything. How ironic. It is never satisfying. Thus, do not ask too much. But if you don't ask, you will not be satisfied. So what is left to be done in the end? A question with no answer. And an answer which many of us, honestly, seek.

My boss hasn't shown any signs of leaving. And I'm already seeing stars. And it's like what, almost 3 now. So I assume I can get in at 12 tomorrow? Heck, she won't be in too anyway. So who knows? I am definitely not passionate about my job. If not I won't be complaining about it now. Hah!

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No one

With what I am today, I felt inferior. Small. Useless. Invinsible. I don't have what it takes to do my job. I don't have what it takes to be a person. I don't have what it takes to be a friend. I don't have what is takes to be a daughter. I don't have what it takes to be anyone. I felt like I was nothing. Someone of no importance at all. It can go on with or without me. Doesn't really make a difference there.

I lost it. I turned my inferiority to dissatisfactions. I turned dissatisfactions to anger. I got mad at all. I showed my temper at my colleagues. I barked at them. I minimised all communications with them. I didn't pick up calls from friends. I didn't reply messages. I slacked at work. I was only clustered with thoughts of what a sad case I am in this world. It was tough to get by the day. Anger is a tiring thing. I broke down by the end of it. I tried to hold it back. It's not nice to have 10 pairs of eyes staring back. But it wouldn't stop. I so wish to hold on tight to someone and just let it flow. And yea. I got a virtual one instead. Dearie, that's not going to help lah...

It's painful. It hurts to know that you don't fit in. That you don't belong. That you are merely just an outcast. Someone actually did noticed the tears. I didn't know how to explain when she asked what was the matter. But I did appreciate the concern...

I still need a tight hug......

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Losing it

Times have certainly change. I've seen numerous taglines which read, "It's not the same anymore". Didn't quite get the real picture of it then. Cause everything was the same to me. Untill I experienced it for myself did I really understood what does it means now.

The whole day today had been wet and cold. Rain didn't stop pouring since morning. And it is because of this that I stayed at home the entire day. Doing absolutely nothing useful. Really nothing. Lazed in bed. Rolled under the sheets. Skipped lunch. Nothing interesting was on TV, so I shut it off after 1 hour of switching channels. Picked up my novel but didn't complete a chapter. Went online, but found out that there was nothing in particular that I needed to do there, so I went offline. Remembered that I had some unfinished work to do, but felt too lazy to even switch on my laptop, so I ditched the idea of it. Wanted to help out with house chores but mum said she'll take care of it, so I was left with not much to do.

Little did I know, time just went on like that. It will be mid night soon. Another day has gone by. I sit here now wondering if this is a life that I want it to be. Without purpose. Without direction. It had never bothered me before. I had enjoy the comfortability and perfectness of my life all these while. As I mentioned, times are changing. How I lead my life currently no longer satisfy my needs of it. I wanted other things. Better things. Different things. Things, I realised, were "bestowed" to others rather than to myself. I look around with envy that some people I know are doing the things that I had thought of doing. Only never been given the chance. Some people are experiencing life that I longed to have. Only never been given the opportunity. Wise men always say, "Opportunities need to be earned. It won't drop from the sky." I guess I'm just not lucky enough. And the big question is, WHY?

I look back all these years and realised I've never did anything particularly amazing. Life given to me had sort of been wasted. No proud acheivements. No wonderful experiences. No interesting events. Lame one. If someone were to ask me what I did all throughout my life, I guess I would have a hard time answering him. Or maybe I would just walk away. Embarrassed. I know it's time to make a difference. I lack the motivation and the courage to do so. It's all my own fault actually. I wanted something and yet didn't make enough effort to go for it. I waited. And waited. All I've been doing is waiting. Waiting for what exactly? I do not know. And I would still continue this waiting. Till eternity.

I seriously enjoy writing. It's been a flair that came at a very young age. I do not dare say that I'm good at it. I have known people that can write even better. It's just something that I enjoy doing. It gives me pleasure. But other than the little space I have here, I don't think I will ever bring this pleasure of mine to a higher level.

Being a hermit does does things to your head.

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Childhood memories

These mails have been circulating at work lately. Those "80's babies" kinda of thing. It brought back my childhood days which were gradually being pushed to the back of my head. Not purposely. But as time goes by, it does happen.

I reckon all are familiar with these pictures. So no further explanations needed. If you are born in the 80's, then you'd know.

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