No one

With what I am today, I felt inferior. Small. Useless. Invinsible. I don't have what it takes to do my job. I don't have what it takes to be a person. I don't have what it takes to be a friend. I don't have what is takes to be a daughter. I don't have what it takes to be anyone. I felt like I was nothing. Someone of no importance at all. It can go on with or without me. Doesn't really make a difference there.

I lost it. I turned my inferiority to dissatisfactions. I turned dissatisfactions to anger. I got mad at all. I showed my temper at my colleagues. I barked at them. I minimised all communications with them. I didn't pick up calls from friends. I didn't reply messages. I slacked at work. I was only clustered with thoughts of what a sad case I am in this world. It was tough to get by the day. Anger is a tiring thing. I broke down by the end of it. I tried to hold it back. It's not nice to have 10 pairs of eyes staring back. But it wouldn't stop. I so wish to hold on tight to someone and just let it flow. And yea. I got a virtual one instead. Dearie, that's not going to help lah...

It's painful. It hurts to know that you don't fit in. That you don't belong. That you are merely just an outcast. Someone actually did noticed the tears. I didn't know how to explain when she asked what was the matter. But I did appreciate the concern...

I still need a tight hug......