Bitter

The one thing I learnt today, is to count on no one but yourself. If you hoped that someone would be there to lend a hand or to save your day, you can keep on hoping. To wait for help to come would be like waiting for rain in a desert. It would be so much better to deal with it on your very own.

They are all so full of lies. Hipocrites on their own being. Families and friends alike. And you can leave those who doesn't fit into the 2 categories, out. They always have this to say, "You can count on me." "You can be rest assured that I always be by your side." "You do not have to worry, for we will always be there for you." Or "Just buzz anytime, we'll always make time for you." Total bullshits!

In times of real trouble, in times of dire need, just how many would be there by your side, holding your hand and guiding you step by step? Just how many would pick that call and come straight to your aid? Face the fact. Humans being humans, are always that self-centred. It's always me, myself and I and no one else.

I will be there if there's something to my benefit. If it's not, then to hell with you. Never mind that I've said that I will always be there for you. Yea, I'll be there alright, if I won't be in a detrimental situation. Who are you for me to waste my time and effort for? So what if you're a family or a friend? In the very end, of course the most important person to me is myself. Not even family. Not even friends. Not even spouses.

The next time you say "You can always count on me", please think long and hard before you say it. If you can't keep the promise, please don't make a dumbass fool out of yourselves.

Yes, I am very bitter here today. Cause I got sick of those phrases, which I fell for all these while. To start of my first new year's resolution, I will count on myself from now on. And I won't be sorry for being self-centred.

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Dear Santa,

It's the time of the year again, where your mailbox is full of letters of wishes. As with the rest of the world, I would be of no exception in dropping my wish to your mailbox this year as well.

This year, Santa, I wish........for all the blessings that had been bestowed upon me, to not be taken away. I am grateful for all that I have. Santa, that's all I want for Christmas this year.

Merry Christmas!

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Fast & Furious

If you want me to slow down and do one thing at a time, I won't be able to. Not only the circumstances doesn't allow it, I am just somehow not associated with the term "slow and steady". I have been taught to be "fast and furious", and that's what I have been doing lately. Being fast....and very furious.

I have these messages laid on my desk for the past week. It was the same caller, who left messages each day to my staff when he couldn't reach me, reminding me to return his call. It's not that I was avoiding him or that the messages slipped my mind. Each time I looked at the messages, I just couldn't get the chance nor the time to ring him back. Guilty.

Like a race car drifting down from a hill, I have been "drifting" in and out from one agenda to the next. Discussion with the programmer to improve the existing system. Meeting with boss to set the prices of a new service. Meeting with a vendor to renew a contract. Meeting with a service provider on a fee settlement issue. Meeting with the consultants on the ISO project. Initiating and coordinating a new team in conjuction with the same ISO project. Providing counselling to problematic staffs. Draft the terms of another new agreement. Complete the annual staff appraisals. Research on some tax issues which was raised by the boss. Tighten up the controls on certain areas and to re-educate the relevant staffs. Solving the issues of the other departments. And the list goes on....

Finally, when no one was knocking on my door and that all emails have been addressed, there came the call from the banker for some urgent information. Or the call from the lawyer for some updates. Or the call from the insurance agent. Or the call from the next department asking for some references. Or the calls from ex-colleagues for technical advices.

While I was "zoom"-ing in and out to get things done, there are people who doesn't move on the same pace that I am, which could be very very very frustrating. Reports required not submitted to me on time. Previous agreements could not be found. Appointments not arranged. Policies were not read. Relevant approvals not obtained. Instructions not conveyed to junior levels. Letters passed to me at the very last minute.

Just like on the hill, while I'm "drifting" downhill with high speed, there are these balls laying around, stagnant, blocking the way. I've got to kick them in the right direction so that they'll roll out of the way and move on. And not just one kick, I've got to kick them numerous times to keep them up to my pace. When the kicking doesn't work, I've got to start throwing out my temper and raising my voice. Then only they start to move a little. OMG! Really OMG!

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Wimp

"You obviously know that this is not it. You obviously know that your heart is telling you to head some where else. And not only you, those close enough to you is able to tell that you do not want this as well. But yet, you choose to remain where you are. There is no wall in front of you. Nothing is holding you back. There is literally nothing that is stopping you from pursuing your desires. You just can't let it go. You can't bring yourself to lay down all that you've acheived so far. You can't accept what society might perceive of you. By doing so, you are just living the life as in the eyes of others. You are not living the life as the way you see it. A better way to say it is that you are conservative. The harsher way would be that you lack the courage. You didn't dare to opt for a change. You didn't dare to take a detour in life. You didn't dare to gamble your future. You'd rather stay unhappy in your current comfortable position than to pursue a more satisfactory but riskier path. But life is what you make out of it. Life is how you mould it to be. Think about it. And see whether you still want to stay on or move on. There is always a choice. And the choice is always yours to make."

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There's A Place For Us

Of the soundtrack from the latest Narnia installment.

I've never really fancied kiddy movies. Maybe I've grown up over fairy tales and magic. But the movie proved to be rather inspiring - if you apply certain parts of it into reality.

Enjoy!

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CPD

Totally forgotten about my CPDs for the year!

Don't know what it is? It's those points which you've got to accumulate in a year in order to retain that membership to a certain professional body. I need 40 points! Which I've totally forgotten about after I left EY.

So now I've got to cramp 40 points in one month. To be exact, less than a month! Oh boy!

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