One real nice dude

"Wanna watch Angels & Demons?"
"Yea. Okayy."
"All right. I've bought 2 tickets for you and her tomorrow."
"Huh? Only me and her? What about you?"
"Oh. I'm not watching."
"You are not watching but you bought us tickets?"
"Yea..."

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"She will be late. Movie's starting in 5 minutes. Can you wait for her and hand her the tix while I get in first?"
"Sure. No problem. You get on in. I'll wait for her."

Just where else can you find this kind of friend? Not watching the movie but got us tix and waited for like 20 minutes. Without a word of complaint. And he didn't asked for the tickets money which he paid until I literally shoved it in his hands.

I find the whole incident really amusing. Big D, you are truly one of a kind.

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I miss......

A bump into an ex-senior just a moment ago brought back some laughs and got me missing my junior days. He was such a brotherly figure. The years have passed so darn fast. I'm a senior myself now. I miss running to him on unresolved issues. He'll surely figure something out. I miss being 'baby-ed' la you can say.

And then there's Kenny and Pinkie and the rest of them. Our days back then have been so much fun. Even with all the late nights and all the stressed out weekends. I want to be a junior again. I get to play. I get to be pampered. All the makans. All the trips. All the pantry gossips. All the crappings while being stuck at the client's. All the funny funny stories we left behind....

I am just being nostalgic. I just miss the days....

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Attitude

I am with an attitude. One that doesn't seem to be good. And one that certain people doesn't approve of. Yes. I do know. I can be pretty harsh. I have a certain temper. But not many has seen. You need certain circumstances to tick me off.

Who doesn't anyway? You think everyone is so calm and patient and nice and perfect all the time? You just haven't seen them all yet. Or worst, they could be pretending in front of you. The comparison you made is baseless and I got tired of reasoning with you.

All I know is that I am only human and I don't intend to be a fake.

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The one person who would treat you well is yourself

Yes. No other.

We were born alone. And we leave alone. All the other people are just passer-bys in the life that we live in. They come and go. They stay with us for a few years and then they would be gone. Then comes another set of people and after another few years, you'd meet a whole new set. The one who would stick by you from the start till the very would be your very own self.

There's no need to put too much hope on other people. There's no need to expect too much from them. They are not here to stay forever. You just need to be glad that they have at least passed your life once. It is your own self that you have to care about. It is your own self that you need to pamper.

You are the one person who would be there for you. You are the one person who would accompany yourself all the time. You are the one person who would lift yourself up when you are down. You are the one person to share all your joys. You are the one person who would never hurt yourself.

So how can certain people sacrifice their entire life for the benefit of someone else? Maybe to them, it's worth it. To me, it's called dumb. Yes, certain sacrifice could be made. But up till the detriment of yourself? That's totally idiotic. Maybe I sound a little self-centered. Well, maybe I am a little. But in this world of ours, it doesn't hurt to be a little selfish. Who would blame you for it? Who would blame you for treating yourself better?

It's time to make a change. I've learned to treat myself better. And it does feel good. Nothing feels better than to satisfy yourself first. The rest can come in later.

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Princessy mode kicking in

Aaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh!!!

No mood to do anything. I've left my outstanding work untouched. It's the holidays. I can't get myself to think about the damn issues that needs to be solved. I know it'll be hectic when I return next week.

I'm not hanging out. I've turned down 2 outings tonight. Which is unlikely considering the fact that I'd jump at every opportunity to get out of the house.

I'm not doing anything at home either. Woke up late. Watched some TV. Went back to bed. Woke up to shower. Read some papers. Had dinner. Facebook-ed. And here I am. One whole day gone.

So what do I intend to do? Sleep. Sleep. And sleep. Serious. All I want is a good rest. All I need is a good rest. Work hard. Play harder. Dead tiring.

The princess is back in the house.

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I've lost weight?

Just when I thought that I was gaining weight, I've been told otherwise. Sure or not?

"You look thinner la....from the last time I saw you..." OMG! Twice today! I've heard that twice today! Must be the dress that I was wearing.

You should see the amount of junks I eat. I can already feel my tummy bulging. And you're saying that I've lost weight? Unbeliveable!

Definitely must be the dress.

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Fell...and rose

It's been months. I've allowed myself to let go. I thought I did. Turns out that I still had him on my mind. I was still harbouring hopes. How dumb!

You were right. It's a wrong guy. Why would he worth my time and my attention? I have been foolish to hang on. Well, no more. I will not allow myself to dwell on someone who is not interested. I will no longer allow myself to feel the tinge of uneasiness when ever he flirts with others.

I am way much better than this. I know I deserve better. It's just some where out there. Waiting for me to discover.

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All out of time

Living life in the fast lane. Zoom! 180 km/hour. Everything speeds past. Before I can blink, it's out of sight. "Huh? It's already the end of April? How did I get here?".

Too many things to do in too little time. No. Time didn't budge. It's just me with more and more stuffs to do. Out and about. Running here and there. Settling this and that. Rushing to meet this damn deadline. Trying to be there on time for this appointment. Catching up with people. Handling personal chores. Man! Is it just me or is everyone facing the same problem?

Exhausting! Being a bumble bee is totally exhausting. I crashed at 9 pm the other night and slept all the way to 8 the next day. And yet someone told me this, "I'll be worried if you're not busy." What the heck did she mean? So people actually like to see me getting all worked out?

You know what? I do longed to lay on the couch all afternoon and watch the clouds move across the sky. Just me and the clouds. Won't happen now. Don't even have time for myself, let alone the sky.

Yes. I am definitely in need of more time. It doesn't seem to be enough. I think I've whined about this before. A similar entry. Yet, the situation didn't change. I am still all that occupied with something, somehow.

Now who can spare me some time? Or better, make it 30 hours a day, 10 days a week and 400 days in a year. I'll be glad.

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Damn stupid GamX just ruined my day!

Supposed to be a flexi tool to help ease work and speed up things. My foot!

Unrealible and darn troublesome! My yesterday's work were all gone. It was stated "SAVED" when I left it. I opened it this morning and an empty screen stared back at me. Where did it all go? No where to be found. No backups. No additional copies.

One whole day's of work! GONE! Just like that. There goes my effort and my time. Now I got to re-do.

'Thank you' so much!

(And you were saying about going paperless?.........)

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"We hail you PESS, We salute you...."

That's all I could remember. It's been 8 years. What do you expect?

I was back at my high school today for the yearly Prefects' Gathering. Well, to be honest, I didn't bother to return the last few years. Until this year where we were feeling a little nostalgic.

School has changed so much people! So different! PIBG is really getting rich. Do you know they have 8 York air-conds in the hall? They cut down the Jacaranda tree that we planted out at the front with a fountain and goldfishes. And isn't the tree the signature mark of school? They have muriels ALL over the walls and plants every where you go. Students these days are indeed so much luckier. And no more blackboards. It's white boards now.

I've collected pictures all over school this morning. Let's play spot the difference. Lets see how many differences you can spot from your memories of 8 years ago.

I miss school...

(P/S: my table seems kinda small now....)

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"Boxed up"

Boxes. 4 by 4 with a lid and a base. Yeah, you'd know what a box is. Something to store things. You put it in, seal it, and keep it in a corner. Ever try getting into one and see what it's like being shut in?

Doesn't the way we live in mimic to being in a box? Lets try:

- You go home. You step into a ceiling, a floor and 4 walls. A box.
- You go to work. You head to your cubicle of a ceiling, a carpeted floor and 4 partitions. A box.
- You are called to a meeting. You sit in a room of 2 glass windows and 2 glass walls. A box.
- You drive out. You get into your car of a hood, a floor, a rear, a front glass and 4 doors. A box.
- You hang out at the mall. Yes. 4 walls. A box.

Did it occur to you that we've been spending so much of our time inside a closed up area? If your not working, you'd be at home, or you'd be in a cinema or at your favourite cafe joint or in a moving vehicle. Basic places that you'd be. And all of them are closed up. You've been in a box your entire life. Only the boxes in our life comes in various shapes, various sizes and various colours. Still, it's a box!

How often do we lay out under the sun? How often do we walk in the rain? How often do we let the wind carry us away? How often do we feel the snow on our skins? Simple everyday things that we neglected, which was substituted with fluorescent lightings and air conditioning and carpets in this urbanised civilisation of ours. Maybe our boxes have been so nicely 'wrapped' that no one actually seem to mind being in one.

"Hey, I'm in here. Can you see me?"

No wonder I've been feeling all so wrong. It's llike being trapped in, unable to run, unable to breathe. Being in boxes for too long does things to your head. It's about time to get out.

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One dashing botak

The hunk drove out all the way from 'Fast & Furious'.

And please, if you are not Vin Diesel, please don't go bald. Only he can carry it well.

Just look at him!

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35 years later....

Let's see. I'm 25 now. After 35 years, I would be 60. Where would I be then?

- I could be married, have kids and grand kids. And retired, of course. So, I'll most likely be staying at home, jaga-ing my hubby and my babies. Baking lots of cookies, doing gardening, knitting and telling my cucus not to run up the stairs.

- Or maybe I don't want to be retired and end up doing some freelance work like babysitting or tailoring or teaching or maybe write some article for some paper/magazine. And still telling my cucus not to run up the stairs.

- Or I'd lead some multinational organization with billions of funds and multi-projects all around the globe. And you'd see me in Forbes 100 richest people in the world. Okay-lah. I shall tone down a little. Make it Forbes 100 richest people in Asia.

- Or I'd marry some rich fella, inherit his multi-million dollar assets and live up to being a Datin. So I'd be living in this huge mansion, with 5 maids at my feet, touring Europe, having high-teas and spas, cover myself from head-to-toe with designer labels and maybe having a few poodles running around the mansion.

- Maybe I didn't get married, was not successfull, still lived in my parents' place until I checked myself in a nursing home so that some one would watch over me till I heave my last breath.

- Or I could migrate to another country with my man, where we'd live in a cottage by the meadow and sipping tea while taking in the countryside feel and watching the sun sets everyday.

- Maybe I'd get struck with some weird illness that'll leave me bed-ridden till the end of my days.

- Maybe I would still be feeling young and head on to do some back-packing far across some continent. Although, this would seem unlikely.

- I could be down at my favourite kopitiam every morning with my mates and a cup of coffee, discussing about my kids and my pet goldfish and my aching back and about the vege seller at the market and this new kind of music and this new cyber thing that over-threw Facebook etc etc.

- Or I might not even live up to 60.

35 years later, I know I'd be looking at some 25 year old and think of all the stupid things that I did back then. Just like what an aunty did this afternoon when she looked at me and said, "You know, when I was about your age......"

I might regret. I might not.

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Play.Play.Play.

Tai kar jie told me so. Tai kar jie said life is short. And since we are still young, better make the most out of it. Cause there may never be a tomorrow. So there's no need to restrain in doing the things that your heart tells you to. Just go for it! Even if it doesn't work out, at least you've given it a shot. And that's something worth living for. Of course don't make it something illegal la.

Tai kar jie told me to have fun. To play. "Why waste it all away? Spice up la a little. There's so much more to this world than it meets the eye. So get up and get a life!" Tai kar jie knocked some senses into me. And now I'm like all wide awake.

Yes. All the play came from tai kar jie. And I listen to my tai kar jie. So I shall play. Sounds like a little kid. Play. Sounds irresponsible as well. By the way, my play doesn't mean that I skip work to catch a movie ( as what someone defined it ) or blowing bubbles at some stranger. That, is child's play. I am planning on having a more matured kind of playing....

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Another step up

I tore open my letter right at the moment I got it. Well, I was nervous. But when I saw what was written on it, I felt nothing. Yea, so what?

The amount stated there would not compensate the amount of work that was expected of me. Should I feel glamorous for holding this new position of mine? I'm standing next in line to boss. That is if I do my part well enough.

But hey, now I have extra to splurge all I want. And to go for a vacaton anytime I want. No sweat! Now where is that new bag that I had my eyes on? ;p

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