Being me

It's simple. Really. How hard can it be in being yourself? Your own true self?

But in the society that we live in, or rather, in a society that I live in, being myself is very much a "sin". You do not get to be yourself without obtaining some sort of "permission" from society.

Now who constitutes society? They are none other than the neighbours, the distant aunts and uncles, the friends' parents, the parent's friends, the acquaintances, the community and the likes. Basically, they are those that doesn't have a significant importance in my life. And yet, they seem to dictate my every move.

'Why are you still single? You ought to find yourself someone."
"Why are you reading by yourself? It's not a pleasant sight."
"You shouldn't be drinking so much coffee. It's not good."
"You coloured your hair? Chemical damages it. You ought to leave it in its original state."
"Why are you wearing that dress? It doesn't suit you."
"Where do you work? It doesn't sound reputable. You ought to switch to a more well known company."
"You're planning to travel to that country? Who on earth goes there? Can't you not go some where else?"
"Oh, you blog? Why do you reveal your personal matters for the world to read? It would be better in being discreet."

Although I appreciate the certain level of concern, if any of them are concern at all, I have no intention of living under a microscopic lens. Let alone explaining my every single move and action. Worst off, the parents take their views seriously.

Yes, I do enjoy being alone, reading my favourite book while sipping coffee at the cafe. Does that bother you?

Yes, I do love having my hair dyed brown or red or purple paired with a tight fitting dress or a tattered blouse. Does that bother you?

Yes, I have a thing for writing and I adore traveling to places where I feel like it. Does that bother you?

Yes, I enjoy hanging out with friends late into the night talking about nothing. Does that bother you?

It's sickening having to come up with an answer to appease them. I can't be left alone to do the things I please without having first taking care of their opinions. And I've got to explain on how I want to live my life? How ridiculous could that be?

I live my own life. I live the way I want it. I live it happily. So what if I take the route less traveled? So what if I didn't do what everyone else is doing? So what if I have different views and different passions? Does that make me less of a person?

So people, stop judging. Stop asking. Cause I'm no longer answering. I'm no longer explaining.

I will just be......me.

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Nail Art

I have a habit of biting my nails.

It's a habit I had since I was a kid. It's a habit that all my close friends knew about. Each time I'm stressed out or nervous or just merely deep in thoughts, my nails became the victim. I wasn't able to resist.

Throughout the years, a few have tried to make me quit, but to no avail. I bit, it grew, I bit it again. It's a never ending story.

It got so bad 6 months ago, that a friend of mine finally forced me to this nail parlour to have it "nursed". She was afraid that my fingers might get infected someday and had to be chopped off.

So, there I was, at NailzBlink Professional at Sungai Wang Plaza, Bukit Bintang, Kuala Lumpur. The manicurist is a friend of a friend's. At least I'll know that I'll be getting genuine suggestions. She was shocked to see my nails. She was amazed at how I was able to bite the nails that deep in and not feeling any pain. Well, I had many years of practice.

My nails had been so bad that it was beyond "repair". She wasn't able to work on them. In the end, she suggested for nail extensions and that I was to keep using them until my own nails grew. Oh-kay. What else could I say? To further hinder my biting, she would be decorating them with fancy nail arts. Oh boy! "We'll make them all nice and fancy so that you wouldn't feel like ruining them."

I wasn't very keen in having those stickers or jewels or tiny flowers glued to my nails. They'll bring discomfort whenever I use my hands. And I had to be worried about losing them. So I had opted for a nude nail colour for starters. The manicurist was very accommodating to my requests. She gladly picked out the colour and had further suggested for a gel based colour. Apparently, gel based colours had more lasting effects. 

So I had my very first nail extensions done and a simple colour to finish it off. It wasn't that hard working with them. Just that I had to move my fingers a tad slower the first few days.

The extensions needed maintenance. After a period of time, they'll loosen and had to be removed and applied fresh ones. Mine was able to last a month, which was considered a lengthy period. Well, I did managed to take care of them well. :)

So I had different designs done each time I returned to the parlour. Sometimes it was to cater for the certain festival of the month. Sometimes it was for the fun of it. Eventually the colours became bolder and I was more open to experiment them.

Eventually, my own nails grew to a certain length that I was able to remove the extensions entirely. I was pleased at how healthy they grew without me biting them. And I was glad that my urge to bite them was gone. 

My manicurist had done a great job in having them groomed. It has now become a monthly routine for me to have them primed and decorated. It would be a different showcase each month and I love them! :)

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First ever Indian travel

India was never on my travel list. Even if I had exhausted all the other places, I would have not set foot on India either. Couldn't blame me. There's just been too many negative comments of India of late. Not even of late, it's been for as long as I can remember. Everyone I know whom has visited, have not a good praise for the place.

Hygiene is bad. Water is unclean. Uneven roads. Crazy traffic. Overly populated. Prone to harassment. Unclean food. Well, they don't call it "Delhi Belly" for nothing. Discrimination against women. All in all, it seems to be the worse place for a traveler.

So imagine my reaction when I was called to be there for business - unaccompanied. And it was to a location where none of my contacts have ever been - Bangalore. "Shucks! I'm suppose to go to an unknown location, all by myself? Do I really have to be there?" It wasn't something compulsory anyway. But rejecting the invitation would seem undiplomatic. After all, it was the boss who had invited. Fine, so I braced myself for the worst and made extensive preparations for me to get in and out of Bangalore safe and sound. It didn't helped either when I realized my travel desk had booked me on a Malaysian Airlines flight - the distressed airline which had a lost plane still undiscovered and a flight to Bangalore itself which had to be turned back for some technical failure just a few weeks back. Bummer!

But, after having picked up my courage and being there, turned out that I was being over paranoid. Apart from a delay in departure, my plane didn't burst out in flames, or dropped from the sky or even crashed into the sea. If those negative comments about India had been true, they didn't apply to Bangalore. Perhaps the reviews were made about other states or other cities.

Bangalore (or officially known as Bengaluru), the capital city of the state Karnataka in the south, is known as the "Silicon Valley of India", as it is the center of India's IT industry. It is also known as the "Garden City of India" due to the lush greenery that surrounds it.

My flight had arrived at 1am at Bengaluru International Airport, a 1.5 hours later than the initial arrival time. Customs and immigration checks had been swift perhaps due to the lateness in the hour. There wasn't much of a queue. Upon arrival, my designated driver had been waiting. He introduced himself as Alladin. Nice and friendly chap without much of an Indian accent. At least I understood his each and every word. There wasn't anyone who stared at me as a foreign female upon my arrival and there weren't any beggars around to tug at my shirt. Criticism 1 debunked.

Bengaluru International Airport

It took 1 hour for me to get from the airport to the hotel - Alila Bangalore Hotel and Residence. A cosy and very spacious 5 star hotel. Surrounded by trees and over looking a lake. I had a whole room to myself! With a king sized bed! No, I didn't hopped on it like a small kid if that's what you are thinking.

The crew had upmost hospitality. They were very much courteous and attentive. "Good morning ma'am, how was your night? Did you rest well? Is there anything which you'd require further?" "Hi ma'am, how was your stay? Is everything all right?" "Hello ma'am, how was the food? Is it to your preference? Would you like a different menu?" I think up to a certain point, I'd got tired of replying, "Yes, everything is fine. I have no need of any other preferences."

Alila Bangalore Hotel & Residence

I've turned vegan on visit. My Indian colleagues had been considerate in taking me to non-vegetarian and non-spicy diners. But out of adventure, I had opted for the exact opposite, which came as a surprise for them. Of course I would have wanted to try out the local food. To try stuffs that I couldn't get back home. And so they were more than happy to do so. We went to an Indian fine dining restaurant - Copper Chimney and they had picked out the best dishes for my tasting. It was kind of them to explain each dish too. While I can't remember the names of all the dishes and I didn't managed to capture some shots of them, they were indeed tasty. They have flavours that we don't. I was surprised to find myself liking them. :)

Ohh...about drinking water. As a foreigner, you'd be served with bottled mineral water whenever asked for. The bottles would be new and unopened. There weren't any upset tummies after taking them. There were no issues in using tap waters for shower and washing either. I didn't contracted rashes or itchiness. Criticism 2 debunked.

Perhaps one of the criticism that couldn't be debunked is the crazy traffic. Vehicles were coming in all sorts of directions. And in between you got to watch out for pedestrians and cows! Real huge cows! That wouldn't budge no matter how long you honked. Ahh...yes, the honks. The magical "instrument" that has to be used when you drive, in every single way. Not that it ever worked...

 Auto-rickshaw. The "tuk-tuk" of India

Another interesting sight during the stay was the amount of security personnel all around and the need to have everything scanned all the time. You get scanned at the airport. You get scanned before entering the hotel. You get scanned before entering the office premise. You get scanned before entering a mall. It is not just you that's being scanned, every vehicle that enters a building gets scanned. Even the bags and purses you carry gets scanned as well. I'm not so sure if I should feel secure or worried. When asked of the purpose of the scannings, no one knew either. I was told, "If you asked the security why is scanning and what is he specifically looking for, he won't be able to answer you. He just does as being told." Interesting. 

Didn't get to go sight-seeing this time. The trip pretty much revolved around the office and the hotel. Bangalore wasn't a tourist spot. It had nothing much to offer. There wasn't much night entertainment either. As a single female on foreign soil, best to stay indoors at night. So I had occupied my spare time with some Bollywood movies on TV and reveled in the luxury of the hotel room.

The trip had definitely changed my perception of India. Or to be specific, Bangalore. Not everyone is dark-skinned and waiting to pounce on you. And you don't get sick just from breathing the air or drinking the water. Yeah, call me naive. Generally, the people are friendly and is much delighted to introduce their culture and country to you. You just have to have an open mind to take in all in. 

I'd probably have no worries in returning should there ever be a need to. But if it's to the other locations, I'll have my doubts......

*Certain pictures posted are courtesy of the internet. Didn't managed to snap much. But they are as how I viewed them.

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Lost it?

Opened up a blank page...and sat staring at it.

Felt like there is so much to let out, yet couldn't find the right words to express them at all. Have I lost it?  Have I lost the flair to write?

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The Promotion

Been at it for a about a month now.

It was all made to sound so simple. The higher position. The higher authority. Someone calling the shots. All you got to do is just to give the instructions, make them work it and monitor. If you don't like it, make them re-do it. Wa-laa! Piece of cake!

Yea right! Tell it again when you have a bunch of clowns running around. Giving instructions to a bunch of clowns? Go figure. And worse yet, your neck is on the line for those clowns. So much for the higher position. Why the heck did I agree to do this? What was I even thinking?

For the challenge? To boast with the new title? To see if I could do it? Self-satisfaction? For the better pay? To have more fun?

It had all happened in a flash...

This one fine morning, the superior handed in his resignation. Caught completely by surprise - he had shown no signs of any intentions prior to that. Fine. It was sort of a disappointment to have him leaving. He was one with the sort of skills and knowledge which could be learned from. I was anticipating working with him for a much longer period. Oh well...

And, before his leaving was even being "digested", he dropped another news - "I've named you as my replacement". What? Are you serious? Are you sure? Your position? Am I the "scapegoat" here? I don't even know if I'm capable! So many thoughts lingered.

Before I had all those answered, HIS superior called. After a brief talk, the role was officially offered and without really much consideration, I had accepted! Great. "We'll do the knowledge transfer now and you can start working on this forecast and we are having the team call in awhile, which you are expected to sit in."

Like a wave of a magic wand - whoosh! Suddenly I'd ascended to a whole new level. Dealing with a whole lot of people. From around the world. From top to bottom. Left to right. Dealing with a whole lot of issues. And trying to maintain my sanity in all of these.

Oh yeah! I'm going to have a whole lot of fun alright!

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Goodbye 20's

The day is 18th March 2014.

What's the big deal? Only that it's my last day as a twenty-something. This long dreaded day has finally arrived. Ever since my 29th birthday, I was hoping that this day would never come. I was hoping that time would stop and I would have never had to enter the thirties.

I enjoyed my twenties! It was the time of my life!

10 years ago, 30 is something unheard of.
9 years ago, coming of age was the grand-est thing ever.
5 years ago, I was more focused on partying and making a mark for myself in the corporate world.
3 years ago, my attention was more towards traveling and seeing the world.
1 year ago, almost there...one more year to being wild and reckless.
A quarter year ago, the emo-ing started.
And today, gosh, it's gone! The prime is over...

So now what? As I'm left with less than 1 hour before I hit the big 3-0, the feeling is pretty much neutral. Not overly excited. Not overly distressed either. Just another day in everyday life. I would still be able to party. I would still be able to make my career. I would still be able to travel the world. I guess it would be naive to think that the world stops at a certain age.  

Perhaps I should look to embrace it. Perhaps the coming decade will bring much more. Who knows? Let's see what will come my way then. Shall hope for the best!

Now, time for some celebration!!

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Pampered. Rebelious. Princess.

I thought I have outgrown them.

I should be more composed, more rational, more matured.

But these are not me. I realised, in doing so, I've become so much more agitated. I've become so much more hot tempered. I've become so miserable.

Why the hell did I choose to be someone not me?

I would be so much more happier being that rebelious, self-centred brat that I used to be. Who cares what the others have to say? Who cares what the world would think?

If you can't accept the way I am, feel free to get out of my life.

I will always be that whiny, pampered princess.

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The End of 2013

Gone were the party days... Gone were the countdowns...

Apart from having this day as the last one for the year and never to return, it passes of as just another day. If there are dinners, they can happen any other day. If there are gifts, they can be given any other day. If there are fireworks, they can happen any other day too. At this point in life, a certain understanding has come to light. A celebration does not have to be on a particular day or time. It can happen anytime, any where.

Amidst the stillness of the night, coupled with a drink and jazz music, it is a time for reflection. A time for resolutions.

All throughout the day, friends have been posting up statements of what the year has been for them. Well, for me, it is not so much as to what I've did or did not do. It's more of what I've learned from circumstances that came along. How did I dealt with them. How did they affected me. How did they changed me. I could be better.

Am grateful of what the past year has brought me. It was a blessing to have walked through it all. Both the ups and downs. Looking back, I can afford a smile.

We shall see what is in store for 2014. I shall strive to have more courage to set out my plans. Fingers crossed.

I especially liked this quote which I got off the net,

Tomorrow is the 1st blank page of a 365 page book. 

Write a good one!

Happy New Year 2014!

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Busted!

It didn't last very long. In just over a year. Some say it was expected. Some say it was a wrong move.

Perhaps the signs were obvious from the very start. It was all there, laid out in front. Everyone else saw them. All but me. Too blinded by pride. Too blinded by ignorance. Too soon did the issues crept up. Too little was done. Too inexperienced.

But I say, it was a lesson well learned. Among others:

• Always listen to your own instincts and stand your ground. Never let others influenced you, no matter how convincing they can be.
• Understand the winds of change in market trends. Catch the wind while it still blows. 
•  Don't jump into a decision without in depth facts and statistics. Real extent.
•  Never let someone inexperienced to dominate and pull the strings. Never ever.
• Make sure all the talk is being walked. Or else tell them to shut the hell up.
• Remove all incompetent shareholders from operations the soonest possible. They are best just being "sleeping".

Looking back, perhaps things could be a little different had the above been addressed sooner. There is no such thing as "let's wait and see" or "it would get better". Waiting in business means losing. Losing out on competition. Losing out on opportunities. Losing out on cash. That's one thing that ought to be kept in mind.

I would still say it was a good try. It brought new insights. It changed my perception of people. I believe I still have much to learn.

Although it didn't turn out favorably, at least I gave it a shot.

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Let It Go

Wasn't aware of the resemblance until it was pointed out. This was supposed to be just another Disney movie. Hadn't noticed it either even when I was watching it.

But this particular song, when listened carefully, "It reflects you. Very much."

Let it go. Run into an ice castle. Turn away. Slam the door. No fear. No rules. Leave the perfect girl. 

But I'm no princess. I don't have magical powers. And I definitely do not live in Disney.

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The donkeys

Being friends is a funny thing. You managed to cling together after all the differences.

Yes, there are times you have been an asshole. There are times you annoy too much. There are times you have been a total pain. There are times you have caused troubles. There are times where we wanted to scream at you. So much so that we have to put up with you.

But despite it all, we still managed to enjoy the company we have. We still managed to laugh it off and somehow be there for one another.

I looked at these pictures and shake my head. How on earth did I ended up with them?

 

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Enough said...

Thank you.....

for just being there....

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Hong Kong, once more

 I returned, after a good 5 years.

It came most suddenly. Suddenly, there were these cravings for dim sum. Suddenly, there was this need for a break from work. Suddenly, there was this extended invitation to tag along for a short escapade. And so, in less than 3 weeks later, I found myself surrounded with the familiar sights and sounds of this buzzling island.

Things weren't all planned out, this time around. We've decided to take it easy, no rush. There was no itinerary. We planned as we go. Fortunately for us, we had friends to guide us. So it kind of saved us a lot of hassle and a lot of time in getting around. And by the way, it was a pleasure in meeting the few of you :)  The trip couldn't have been more adventurous.

This was, in no doubt, one of the most tiring trip ever. Unlike being chauffeured on most of my other trips, we had actually skip those and went on board almost every single mode of transportation that is available on the island. The MTR for commuting around the city, ferry to the outer islands, cabs to places where the MTR doesn't reach, trams for the fun of it, mini buses to specific locations, and we even rode on bicycles. If the weather hadn't been poor, we would have hopped onto the cable car too. And of course, there is the most basic form of transportation - the feet.

Perhaps a more memorable adventure was the visit to Cheung Chau island, one of the fishing villages of Hong Kong.

We weren't there just for sight seeing, but also to find a message left hidden on one of the huts on top the hills. Made me felt like Sherlock. And so, off we went on our rented bikes, riding around the island, searching for that specific stair well that would lead us right to that specific hut. Along the way, we immersed ourselves with the beaches and delicacies offered, taking in the setting and the daily ongoing of the locals. We got lost halfway through, and while we were trying to regain our bearings, we were attacked by a swarm of lethal mosquitoes, which left their mark on my legs till this day still. With the attack and the warnings signs of a downpour, we had to abandon the quest and head back. It was regretful, not only we won't know the contents of the message but we've also missed one of the spectacular views from atop the hills.

In was from this visit that I saw a different side of Hong Kong, I experienced a different side of her. Standing on the streets of Central, waiting in line a long queue, among the dense high rise buildings, squashed in between the sea of people, with the blazing hons of vehicles and the beeping sounds of the traffic lights, the metropolitan side of her has taken effect. Everything and everyone was a rush. It was a rush to finish off a meal. It was a rush to catch the train. It was a rush to cross the street. It was a rush to get off the elevator. It was a rush to snap pictures. If you move a tad slower, be sure to be left behind. And not to mention, be taunted, at times. It sure was stressful, even being a tourist.

Tourist aside, however, there was also a time where we caught a glimpse of the lives of a regular Hongkie. We visited the home of our friend who lives out of the city, To Kwa Wan, where no MTR would reach and required an extensive amount of walking. As with what was shown on television, the space in which they had to live in was indeed tiny. There was barely enough space to walk or to sit in. The corridors could only fit 1 person at a time. I had to see it for myself to actually believe it. My wardrobe alone would not fit into the space which they called a bedroom. It was all cramped and walled up. It felt suffocating. I would definitely wouldn't have lasted long there.

And then there were the eateries. Hong Kong wouldn't be Hong Kong without its food. It was said that theirs tastes better. Dim sum, egg tarts, tong sui, buns, char siew etc. I, for one, wouldn't think so. Lets just say that there are differences in flavours. Perhaps the Malaysian cooking methods are disparate from the Hong Kong ones. Or perhaps the ingredients used are different. A dish which could be found in both places do taste different. Both dishes do bring out their own local essence. They are unique in their own special way.

As the trip came to an end, I was reluctant to leave, but I was also glad to leave all the same. How contradictory. I would have wanted the holiday to be extended further. Who wouldn't like to continue having fun and forget about work? But at the same time I was pleased to get out of this hustling city. Not really my ideal spot for a relaxing holiday.

So, Hong Kong, "thank you" for the hospitality once again. I shall see you in another 5 years time. That is if I have run out of further places to visit.

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Invisible

There are times when this felt like the perfect escape.

To live in the wilderness. To live off grid. Away from the stresses of the city. Away from the hipocrites. Away from the microscopic lenses of society. Away from unnecessary burdens. Away from irrelevant worries. Away from having to explain whatever decision and action.

Just me and mother nature. Doing what ever I please, whenever I please.

To be invisible, will it only be a dream?

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My Coffee Art

Wasn't really much of a coffee junkie. In fact, coffee seldom crossed my mind apart from the once a week buy-one-free-one San Francisco Extreme drink series with my "San Fran" buddy back then. After leaving to work in another organization, I lost touch with my buy-one-free-one extreme latte and got introduced to this new thing called Irish latte instead. New for me that is.

It was like a drug that got me hooked at the very instant and had me going back for more. Up to a point where it aroused my curiosity and had me wondering what lies inside that cup of espresso or latte or cappuccino. I began to develop an interest in coffee which I never thought I would have. And so I started looking out for coffee joints, to satisfy that craving and that certain curiosity.

It was from a few of these places that I discovered these cute little illustrations that they put on top of your coffee drink. Hearts, ferns, spider webs, leaves, bears, rabbits and anything which you can think of. It was just adorable. And it became an "in" thing. All of a sudden people are talking about them. The more I looked at them, the more interested I got. If someone is able to create them, well I bet I would be able to do so too. So after a little digging, I found out that they are called coffee art.

Coffee arts

There weren't many places that offered such classes. Most would require you to take up a basic barista course first. However, I finally did manage to find this place, which offers coffee appreciation, latte art and various other coffee related workshops, run by 2 fun loving coffee enthusiasts. 

And so I went on to sign up for a latte art workshop and got a crash course about it. All in a span of 2 hours, I was introduced to terms like milk frosting, etching, tilting. And I got to watch out for boiling temperatures and to measure in ounces and how to tell if the coffee is freshly brewed. For someone who doesn't really cook, god knows how I survived that 2 hours. Hate to say this, but most of the time I got through with lucky guesses. Hah!

my teacher monitoring my pouring

some of the failed attempts

managed to get a "heart" right

a few more tries

"tilt it more"....like this...

and finally....ta-daa...

yes, I did it!

Actually they were not the patterns that I had initially wanted to make. Albeit not really perfect but I still managed to create something reasonable out of it. Kudos to my teachers! 

So what's next? Practice more and perfect the art!

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