Family

alot of dissatisfactions...financial issues...not the same situation anymore...times are getting harder... alot of sighs...alot of worries...worry for all the 'wat ifs'.... i no longer can return home with a care free feeling... i can no longer go home knowing dat mum n dad will take care of everything...i dread going home now... i seem to have to deal with lots of things dat i wanna avoid... they are getting tired... and im not interested to care...i really dun bother...i dun wanna noe...already im sick of my life...i am actually being selfish... i sometimes wonder why i acted the way i did... why havent i have more concern for those closest to me? im mad dat something can actually be done to change the situation..only they didnt want to...all they do is complain, complain, complain... i let them haf it their way.... no matter how i wanna live life my way, i cant do dat now... there's this invisible cord holding me back... and it's rather suffocating sometimes...

it's alwiz our fault... any unfortunate happenings, it's our fault... even if there r things dat we cant control, it has to be our fault too... she's mad at something, for no reason, it's our fault... all the rest of the world is alwiz rite...it's alwiz our character, our fate, our luck, our everything is alwiz in the wrong... she's ashamed of everyone of us.. no matter how good we did, we will alwiz not be good enuf... i dun talk much with her... she kills my dreams... and my optimistic view on life... wat eva i spill to her...she turned it around and everything will be my fault.... yeah, it was my fault too to be born in this world...