Loneliness

i read jaesy's blog and one of her recent entries was about loneliness....she came upon this research article dat says loneliness is actually a normal feeling, with most youngsters experiencing it during their college/university years..according to dat research, there's actually nothing wrong with urself if u do feel lonely off and on...it's one of society's norms...i was kinda relieved after reading dat article ...at least i noe, im not the only one... dat is, until today...

i left for work this morning with dark clouds hovering over me... i have not left yesterday's issue completely... i got a slight feeling dat i was being alienated at home... maybe im alienating myself...i din talk much the entire day.. my mood was down... not much progress in my work... made my senior worried....hahhaha...not for me, but for the tight schedule....

stayed on quite late at client's premises...sort of released my stress at my senior...so sorry for dat...i noe ur even more stressed up....din feel like going home after dat..i was actually around subang area so i called up a fren to lift up some spirits...but she was bz....dating i presume..see wat i mean...who will be there in times of need? din try to call the rest...the girls cant really hang out late at nite...dia n lin jie are no longer there...the guys, nah! they wont show up if im the one dats initiating an outing....so i left my phone alone...afraid to get the same answer dat'll make my already dark day, darker....

contemplated to head out myself...tot of 3 choices...go to hai-lo and let the music drown me....go catch a comedy and laugh all my stress out....or drive to 'tian hou kong' to get some peace...i din go to any in the end...no company...dun wanna look so pathetic being alone....

new job...new environment...new colleagues...im kinda slow in adapting...worried dat i might not click with them... been 'floating' ever since i joined... empty...no place to hang on... coupled with the fact dat most of my closest are 'disappearing'... even more empty....nothing to catch...nothing to lean on.....wat if something goes wrong? who am i suppose to call?

why me?