Goodbye 2008

It's the end of the year, once more. Thought that I'd pen down one last entry before I sign the year off.

I could still remember how I started the year. It was a drink with a friend of mine at a nearby cafe. And then I had to work on new year's day. Going on, the year has its share of ups and downs. Happy moments. Unhappy moments.People came. People left. In a flash, the year went by. For each year, I'm glad it came. It gave me new experiences. New feelings. New people to meet. New things to do. New events to look forward to. And this passing year, I was glad as well. I'm glad that I lived through it. I'm glad that I'm able to live past it to the next year.

Here I am, blogging on new year's eve, when I should be out partying. Not to say that I have no invites, only that the mood is not there to celebrate this year. And it's been a tiring few weeks. I'd rather stay at home and catch some programmes on tv. Pirates of the Carribean is playing at the moment. Call me old. I guess age is catching up. Not up to any more countdowns. Not up to any more gatherings into the wee hours. Just want to lay back and chill in the comforts of home.

Surprising enough, just when I thought everyone would be out doing something to usher the new year, there are quite a number of people on MSN. My mates of the old age. Ahaha! All lazy people grown out of the partying days. It's good to have them around for some company tonight though. Cool!

All ritey...Goodbye 2008! And Hello 2009!
May the new year brings all the good things in life for everyone. Have a wonderful year ahead!

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Congratulations Sharon!

My 'twin' is finally married!After so many years with her beau, they are finally, officially together.Her story is a happily-ever-after one. Stable. Tolerant. Caring. Loving. Sharing. She found the perfect man and he found the perfect woman. Perfect!

She looked so entirely different last Saturday. "Is that really her?" Walking into the dinner hall, holding onto her husband's arms...and all smiles. Awwww! I feel so happy for her. So very happy. Congratulations dear!

I am surely gonna miss you...

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Car accident...again...

Either it's pure bad luck or I'm just a lousy driver. I know what is running through your mind. I am a lousy driver. There I admitted. Hah.

I was reversing to park my car. Didn't notice the Harrier at the back. My censor didn't work. Bang! I broke my tail light and the Harrier was scratched. Gosh. Scared the hell out of me. I was so at fault. Got down to check out the damage. The owner literally came running out.

Inspected. Inspected. Talked. Talked. "Okay. Okay. Cut all the crap. I'll just pay for your damages." All I wanted was to settle the thing and get away as fast as I could. Don't really feel comfortable having like 10 unknown people surrounding you at night, pointing fingers. But my friend went, "Don't be foolish. He double parked. He's at fault too. Let's see what does he have to say first..." Well, he said nothing. The owner said, "It's fine." And walked away. Oooh-kayyy....Saved!

Still, I ended up shaking....

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Euphoria - Ministry of Sound

This year's Christmas was spent with my close friends again. This time, it was down to the clubs. Actually it was more like for Vannie's hen's night. So, there we were at Euphoria, 13 of us, 6 bottles of Chivas and tonnes of fun.

I have never been in to Euphoria. Well, it gave me quite a good experience. The decos are good. The dance floor is spacious enough. The seats are comfortable enough. The patrons were more well-mannered. It was a non-smoking place. There were no crowds all over. So at least we could breathe and move around freely. The chicks were hot. The guys were, well, being guys. Hah.

With loud music, with people that you are comfortable with, with so many alcohols, a digi cam, and with an occassion to celebrate, no doubt, we went wild. Dancing. Flirting. Drinking. Playing. Kissing. Hugging. Fooling. Crapping. My people. Totally amazing.

Words could not describe the amount of fun...and tiredness I had last night. The pictures are on its way. They need screening and editing. Haha. Will be up in Facebook in no time.

Merry Christmas! I had another memorable eve....

(P/S: Just for the sake of last night, it does feel rather good being held tight...)

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If you only knew...

All these years, I have been wondering why,
Upon realization, I let out a sigh,
It was never a lie,
Only, that part of me have been too blind.

It wouldn't have been the same,
If I had played your game,
Now, I have no one else to blame,
But myself for being so 'insane'.

How I always wish I could only turn back time,
To the days when we were in our prime,
Where I'd act on your sign,
And I'd be yours and you'd be mine.

This thing that you didn't know,
Something buried deep down below,
Was that it was never meant to be a 'no',
Which I should have told you, long ago.

Words could no longer bring you back,
As I sit here, consumed with endless regret,
All that is left were memories to tag,
With every thought of them made my heart crack.

I force myself to leave it all behind,
But as if something that binds,
You, somehow, keep coming back to my mind.

It is too late,
I'm sorry for all the wait...the heartbreak,
They shall posses your trait,
As in my heart, a space for you, I'll always create...

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Naive

It's a big big world. Things are always not what it seems to be. Even if you've been nicely treated. Even if you've benefitted. You will not know what is lurking under the masks' of people around you. Not until it's too late.

Nothing in this life is free. Happiness comes at a cost. Depending on the way you see it. No where is truly safe for your standing. Definitely not out on the streets, not even at home. As you grow up, you'll see more of everything. Both the bright and the dark side. The pressures of life would force you to take sides. To abstain? A mixture of both? Or do you actually have the choice to choose?

If you are naive, you have every right to be ignorant. If you are disadvantaged, you have every right to regret. If you are protected, you have every right to be lucky. It's every person for themselves out there. If you want to be in, play the game. If not, then stay away. It's a simple rule of life.

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The call

Certain people give a soothing effect. A certain calmness. No matter what is it that they say. Be it some advice or just some mere crap. Certain people just have that aura. Part of their personality. Part of who they are. It feels safe to just listen to what they have to say.

I made a call today. It lasted for like 5 minutes. But it does feel good thereafter. That tone.... It felt safe. It managed to lead the lost puppy back on track. At least for the moment.

Does that mean I have to keep calling?

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Work hard, played harder

This is by far the crappiest team I've ever worked with.

We stayed back at the client's after working hours. Only, we weren't working. Guess what? We played computer games!

All 6 of us. Hogging over the VT's laptop, having fun over "spot the difference". Our 'discussions' and laughters apparently brought the attention of the clients walking past. They gave us curious glances. "Shut that door." There, now we can play to our will.

Half an hour past. Still playing. "Can we go now?" The VT finally gave up. But seniors were reluctant to end the game. Only when hunger stroke that we finally got the will to pack. Hah!

And I was in it all. Shhhh!!! Don't tell boss.

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Please wake me up....

The past few days have been dreamlike. Clouded. Misted. Blurred. And my head, well, it was not where it was supposed to be. “Someone please ‘wake’ me up…”

Been doing a lot of starring lately. Starring at the wall. Starring at the table. Starring at the ceiling. Starring at the computer screen. Starring at the mug. Starring out of the window. Starring into space. Starring into nothing. Just starring. Not wanting to move. Not wanting to do anything. Just starring. Allowing time to flow past. Seconds after seconds. Minutes after minutes. The clock ticked. Yet, I lay ignorant.

My work lay untouched, even though I am fully aware of that deadline to be met. My room is in a mess. Not wanting to clear the stuffs lying all around. My car is like a garbage truck. Not wanting to scoop aside the files and papers laying comfortably inside. My bills were left unpaid. With the due dates visibly telling me to do so. I didn’t have the heart to do what ever. I just slumped there...starring.

What is it that got me so unfocused? What is it that got my concentration off guard? What is it that made me look like a possessed soul, trying to burn a hole into the wall with my stare? What is it that made me look like a retarded nut case placed in a pyschiatric ward? A whole lot of things actually. A whole lot of things.

My official membership certificate has reached me today. I even went for the New Members' Reception organised. As a part of me felt proud to have acheived something at this young age, a part of me was questioning, "So what?" Where do I take on from here? Do I continue? Do I quit and let go? Do I know what I truly want? Do I have the guts to follow my heart? Do I continue to carry the responsibility and lead the life set ahead? Suddenly, I saw so many doors opened in front of me. Waiting for me to step in. Only, which door knob should I turn? And that I won't back out of it later on.

My 'page' turned to my senior's wedding last weekend. How she looked so lovely in that wedding dress. The smiles. The flashes. The hugs. It was just 2 years ago that she was this young girl, having fun, hanging around, gossiping, laughing out loud, playing with me. Time just runs. Now she's all grown up, married to her long time beau, having a family of her own. Times have changed. And I sort of miss her. Miss my days of working with her.

The 'pages' flip forward to the next few weeks. Annual dinner. Christmas. Wedding dinners. Vacations. New year. Activities have all been lined up. Then comes the questions.Which dress to put on? Which accessories to match? Which shoes goes with which bags? What colour eye shadow to buy? What presents to buy? The cute teddy or that lovely key-chain? Which parties to go to first? The one with ex-school mates or the one with the colleagues? How would I look like in that particular dress? Is the white one better or the pink one? Which vacations to go to? They are like never ending. And they would only stop when the actual day arrives.

Then it's on friends. Memories of them came flooding back. Suddenly I see the past in front of me. School mates from primary. From secondary. From college. From work. Picture after picture pops up. Different groups of people. Giving me different versions of my life. How I miss the days spent with them. Which never fails to put a smile on my face. How I wish that things would just stay the same. And that we didn't have to part. I wonder all the time what will happen in the future. Will we still be in contatct? Will we remember each other? Will we leave and never come back again?

My imaginary glands were getting very active these days. I bring movies to live in my head. I am getting really lost in fantasies. Where ever I go, what ever I do, I can gaze off and make way for some ridiculous story to take its course. Little scenes played. No real purpose. It keeps playing. And playing. And playing. I enjoyed the flow. I enjoyed where it takes me. I let it go on and on....

I am so reluctant to wake up. I am so reluctant to face reality...

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Hypnotized

Unknown track. Unknown composer. Unknown source.

Got it off the net, mistaken for something else. And then, I found myself drawn to it, as if being pulled by a gigantic magnet. It's instrumental. It's piano. It's smooth. It's slow. It's soothing. It's romantic. It's waiting for something to happen. It's trying to say something, but the words were unspoken. It's dangerous. It's mysterious. It's hypnotic. I have been unable to cut myself loose from it. It's been on my playlist for 3 days now. Non-stop.

It was the wrong title. Nor was it attached to the correct artiste. It was suppose to be from the movie. But it was not either. It was not on the original soundtrack. It kills me now that I can't figure out who the hell played it. Or what is it called. Or where it came from. Google has not been helpful. I'm left in the dark, listening to this unknown person on the piano, with a melody that I'm trying to decipher. Trying to decipher the message within. I have not been an instrumental kind of person. I don't really listen to them. But this score....

It came out of a coincidence. And it's going to leave me bewildered........

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Obssession

This fantasy. This story. This imagination.

I have this something in my head. It won't go away. It's been there for awhile now. They say Pisceans are dreamers. They are so true. It's in my head before bed. It's there when I wake up. It's there when I'm on the road. It's there when I work. It's there when I eat. It's there when I'm in the showers. It's there even though I'm in the company of others. It's there no matter what I'm doing. I became oblivious to everything around me. My surroundings turned to an array of gray clouds with my focus locked on this thing running around inside my head.

With time, it changes. My mind playing different kinds of versions of it. Scene after scene. Actions after actions. Expressions after expressions. My mind, twisting the original one into so many other possibilities. I can lay all day on the couch, starring into the ceiling, doing nothing but 'fiddling' with it in my head. Other chores doesn't seem to matter as I do not have the will to do any other thing but to just let my imaginations run wild. To create more stories. To allow my fantasies run high to another level. Nothing in it is for real. Nothing in it is possible. It's just something to escape to. Something to dream. I 'wake up' time after time to slap myself back to reality, only to return to the couch a few minutes later, doing the same thing over again.

I didn't know what else to call it other than obssession. Obssessed with something not real. Pouring so much time into something that will not happen. Yet, it gives so much pleasure and satisfaction to just have a thought about it. Something far inside, deep into the corner some where, slightly wished that wouldn't it be good if it does come true? That it'll bring me out there. Into the stories. Into the dream. Into the fantasies. Where I can live the impossible. Where I can make the stories turn true for myself.....

Is it just me or is there someone else who does the same things I did?

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Twilight

"When you can live forever, what do you live for?"

When I stepped into the cinema, I had no idea what this movie is all about. I had no idea who directed it. I had no idea who were the casts. All I knew was that I was dead bored and I just casually picked one movie to kill some time. And this title caught my interest, "Twilight".

Based on a novel by Stephenie Meyer, it is about a young-adult vampire falling in love with a human. Fighting the desire to drink her blood and yet at the same time protecting her from all harm that comes her way. A typical love story where they end up happily ever after. The story was, by far, so-so only if it wasn't for the very 'cun' casts...


Actually, it's the main lead that got it going. To be frank, it was the main lead that got me going. Robert Pattinson. Definitely charming. But, unheard of. Did a little research and realised he was on the cast of Harry Potter as well. One mesmerising vampire. He got me mesmerised. He will be stuck in my head for the rest of the night.

Catch the movie and you'd know what I mean. I shall get that novel in the mean time.

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It's in!!

It's in! It's in! The letter is in!

All my efforts have finally been paid off. The eagerness has come to an end. The long awaited title has reached my doorstep. All it takes was just a few words.

"Congratulations! Your application to our membership has been successful. You are now permitted to use 'ACCA' after your name."

I have all the reason to be proud. My parents were more excited than I am. I am officially on ACCA's membership database. Right. ACCA. Globally recognised. I am now one of the many thousands to be associated with them. I am an ACCA member! Oh yeeaah! Please kindly address me in a more professional manner from now on. Ahah! Just kidding.

Oh-kay. Now what?

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Dark rainy night

Do you know just how scary it is to drive on a night like this? Alone?

It's night. It's dark. It's raining heavily. The wipers were on full swing.You can barely see the road in front of you. You are in some far away place. You are not familiar with the area. You are not sure which junction to turn. You are freezing. And you are doing all of it alone. All you can think of is getting back home as soon as possible.

It is agonising to think that something bad might happen in the middle of the way. Maybe kena ambushed. Maybe kena trailed. Maybe some vehicle might come hit you from the back. Maybe you'd run over something. Maybe you might see 'something' in the back mirror. Maybe your vehicle chose that very instant to break down. So many possibilitiies. Imaginations playing games in your head.

So in response, you'd grip the wheel harder and accelerate. Just please let me get out of this place. But you can't go too fast on slippery roads. Nanti kena lubang or skid then how? So, for personal safety, you slowed down. But the more you delay, the more mind games will be played, your heart beats faster, and you start to accelerate again. Gosh. This is never going to end.

Somehow, I managed to get home in one piece. Phew!! Thank God.

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"I have something to tell you..."

Ring. Ring.

"Hello"
"I have something to tell you..."
"What? You are dating now?"
"Nahhh...just listen closely...."
"What's so secretive?"
"Just hear me out, will ya?"
"All right. All right. I'm listening. Shoot."
"........here goes.....AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!"

My friend just screamed in my ear. In the middle of the night. Yes. Yes. I get the frustration. I get the need to let out. Poor me. There. Does it feel better now? I have real sakai friends.

I would like to scream like that as well. Who wants to be my victim? ;p

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34th ACCA graduation

Honestly, to me, it is just another one. Just another graduation.

Graduations are supposed to be a prestigous event. You feel proud that you've finally made it. The shimmer of gleam on your loved ones' faces. All the hard work and late nights have all been paid off the moment you step on stage to receive that scroll.

I have been to too many graduations. Mine alone, I've received scrolls for like 5 times throughout my tertiary education. Well, the feeling was kinda good during the first one or two times. I did feel proud of myself. With the robe and mortar board and all. I felt proud that my parents were proud. But as time goes by, after the numerous graduations, I began to feel nothing. No big deal. What was all the big hoo-hah about it? It's nothing really.

My sister's graduation was held last Saturday at the KL Convention Centre. The last one to be attended in the family. Unless, maybe one of us decides to study again. Can be seen that it meant alot for some other people. And their families. All smiles. All full of roses and teddy bears. All full of flashes from cameras. All full of hugs and congratulatory notes. All beaming with pride the moment they were called on stage.

I was seated towards the end of the hall. Listening to the speeches made. Watching the graduates walking up one by one. Looking at all the happy faces during the group photo session. Looking at all the cameras clicking away. Well, not really. I was actually waiting for time to go by so that we can get over with it. I'm such a meanie. But graduations no longer pose any meaning to me. Just another event.

Still, congratulations to all the ACCA graduates graduating this time around. You definitely should be proud.

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Clicking friends

Do you know how hard it is to find them? It's tough enough to even find one, let alone a few. Consider yourself lucky if you have like a few friends that clicks with you. "Aiseh! Friends only maa. What's so difficult? Just hang out at some party and you'd get a few of them instantly." Yea. You'd have tonnes of those. But for friends that truly knows you and are by your side all your life...those are the ones to treasure. Those are the ones that's rare.

Just how often can you pick up your cell and buzz someone at midnight because you were having a bad day? Just often you get to grab some one out because you were feeling bored? Just how often this person came to your mind in every activity that you planned-shopping, movies, drinks? Just how often can you drop everything on hand for some one who needed you this instant? And I'm not talking about persons in relationships. I'm looking at the perspective of friends. Close friends. Best friends. Either from the same gender or otherwise.

Speaking about that, it is common perception that a guy and a girl can never be good friends. I have never known why. People just don't believe that such relationship can ever exist. If they get too close to each other, they'll ended up getting married or some sort. No such thing as a platonic relationship! So, they keep a distance. Afraid that if they call too often, it'll spark rumours. Afraid that if they go out too often, it'll spark rumours. Afraid that their friendly concerns for each other will spark rumours. Afraid that their support for each other will spark rumours. What is there to be rumuored actually? So, is it wrong to be real good friend? No. Why the fear actually? People just have to live with the way how others see them la somehow.

Giving up a friend that you feel comfortable in doing everything together just because of something someone else said? Worth it? Would you be that dumb? Or you think you'd find another that knows you just as well in due time, so you can afford to let go? Give it a thought. It's just that hard to find someone like that. Just treasure those that you've found.

I can't say that I've found a friend that clicks. I can't say that I have not found one either. It's just some where in between laa. Still, I'm glad for it. I'm glad for all the friends I have.

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Time

"Wishing that I could freeze the moment, and save it from the funny tricks of time..."

Time goes so fast when you are having fun. You waited for it all week. You anticipated the excitement when it finally came. You put your whole heart in and played till the very end. Little did you know, the hands of time keep ticking and ticking. You were enjoying too much to notice. And too soon, it ended. You hadn't had enough. The happy moments lasted only for that particular time frame. The rest will be kept in memories.

Time. That thing that you wish you could do something about it. To turn back. To fast forward. Or to hold it still. But either way, it is not going to listen. It never will. You just have to catch it when it comes. And stare hopelessly when you couldn't. Regretting for lost times. Regretting for letting go time that doesn't come back.

We live by each day only once. Happy ones. Not so happy ones. How many of us have actually stopped to enjoy the moment a little? To enjoy the time you are here? At this particular place? With this particular person(s)? Cause tomorrow will never be today and today will never be yesterday.

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Loving Starbucks

Not Coffee Bean. Not San Fran. Not Dome. Not Gloria Jeans. It is only Starbucks. My favourite coffe haunt.

I know it's rather pricey. But, hey, I just simply can't resist the charm. They have this something that got me so drawn to it. The taste maybe? The ambience? That paper cup in my hands? Or maybe cause it's greeeeeen??? ;)

I only go for this one thing all the time. Java Chip frappucino. Yummm...

I can sit there for hours. Chatting. Checking out people. Read a book. It's cool, you know. I like this feeling of talking to someone who understands you over a cup of something that you like to drink. Well, at least my friend doesn't mind spending to enjoy life a little. Besides, I don't go all the time laaa... Maybe once or twice a month. Don't laaa think that I'm so up-standard.

The unfortunate thing is, some people didn't want to share their discounts with me. HUMPH!!

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Never been in love

Already 24 and never been in love. Embarrasing even to admit. People are either feeling sorry, that there was something wrong, or that it's running out of time. "So, are you attached?" No. "Is there anyone that you've laid your eyes on?" No. "Has anyone come forward to you?" No. "C'mon. Don't lie. Lets be frank, shall we? You seem to have alot of friends. Surely there must be someone....."

Gosh. You people are making me anxious. People are beginning to get curious as to why I am still being single. It's like they can't sleep in peace if they don't see me hanging on to someone else's arms. I appreciate the concerns but I can only provide you with the same answer. It's not that I've set my standards high. It's not that I'm choosy. It's not that I'm weird. It's just that fate has not come my way yet. My cupid tersesat-lah dear...

Yes. There are moments of desperations. There are times of loneliness. There are nights where I felt like hugging someone tight to assure me that everything will be all right. There are days where I would like to hear the voice of someone dear to keep me going on. There are instances where I would like to be pampered and to be taken cared of. It's what every girl would have wanted.

I have felt the tinges of envy whenever I see lovey-dovey couples going hand-in-hand. I have watched from afar and wondered why the one has not been me. I have felt the pain of being brushed aside whenever a friend starts a relationship. I have asked if there is really anything wrong in me that causes this. But, on the other hand, I've seen enough breakups to bring up this question: what is the meaning of true love?

Do you just grab someone to beat the loneliness? Do you hang on to someone just for the sake of a shoulder to cry on? Do you take someone out as a show off? Do you say 'yes' to someone so that you won't be labelled as a pathetic singleton? And then a few years down the road, things get ugly and you break off the relationship. Citing irreconcilable differences as the reason or "There is no reason. It just happened." Love. It is so vulnerable. It is so blind. It is so exploited. Gone were the days where is was so sweet and genuine.

This is conflicting. I still leave it to fate to decide. If it comes, it comes. If it doesn't, then it doesn't. Love can be everything. It might not be everything as well. Cupid oh cupid, wer art thou? Just like me la I presume...my cupid has no sense of direction. LOL!

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Paid to chill

Just which other job pays you to watch movies and play computer games? And then your boss comes in to thank you and treats you for dinner?

Yeah.That was what happened to me late last night. My bosses were having this big, very urgent meeting. They needed us around to help out with some adjustments and documentations when they were done. So, we need to hang around to wait for them. Not allowed to leave. Well then, what is there to do? We played a DVD and watched a 2 hour movie. Still not done. We chatted for a while. Still not done. We hit the buttons and went ballistic over Super Mario. Another hour passed. Oh...they finally came out.

Boss said, "Sorry to keep you all waiting. Please put in this adjustment and have this printed out." Yes, boss. It was 10pm then and all of us had skipped dinner. Boss said, "Well, thank you all for your hard work. Come, lets go for dinner." Hard work? Okay. Maybe it was kinda hard killing time with DVDs and games when you obviously know that you have your next job screaming out to you.

See. Ain't my job nice? Me, as a senior, was actually being paid to hang around and chill. I don't know if I should laugh or feel sorry or feel pissed or just be glad? But it did happened.

"Shakes head"

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Time

Time zooms past. It goes so fast that when you finally had the time to take a breath, you'd wonder if what you went through did actually happened. The past (even yesterday) might become a clump of gray clouds in your head. Yesterday would seem like one month ago. A month ago would seem like a year ago. Too many things happen, in too little time.

The present would no longer pose any meaning. As it would just be any other day, where it would just fly past without you even realising it. And when you finally do, it's too late dear. Too late to make changes. Too late to think twice before doing a particular thing. Too late to say, "I should have done this instead of this..." Time doesn't wait for anyone. It's one selfish brat. It's either you grab it or you lose it.

Too many people has lost so much in time. I'm of no exception. I honestly can say the one thing I want most is to turn back time. One impossible thing to do. All I am able do now is to sit with regret for the things that I didn't do. For the things that I didn't say. I've always liked this quote," Regrets are not for the things that you did, but rather, for the things that you didn't do." That's what kills you the most. The things that you didn't do when your heart and mind has been screaming for you to hear them.

Time has always been an issue to me. I hate to lose time. My current time. It's something that you can never stop. Something that could never be turned around. Something that simply won't come back no matter how loud you call out to it. My life has been going fast. It's accelerating. I'm not too sure when will I stop to feel myself. To feel those around me....

I don't get what am I blabbing about. It's late and I got to get to work tomorrow.
What ever.

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Guilty-ness

If you make people lose something that they can never get it back, no amount of sorry is ever going to be enough.

If someone extended their favour to you, upon your request, no amount of thank you is ever going to release you from your indebtness to that person.

So what if they happened?

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SKTS Reunion

"Hey bro, good to see you..."
"Heeyyyy, errr, you are?"
" Huh? You are xxx? Oh my gosh! Are you for real? You're really xxx?"
"Psst, who is that? Do we know him? Is he from Segar as well?"
"Where's xxx? Did anyone inform her? Why didn't she turn up? I want to see what did she turned into after all these years."
"Do you remember me? Take a guess..."

Segar-ians reunited. After 12 long years. At Jarrod & Rawlins, Damansara. 30 people turned up. From Delima, to Nilam to Intan. The crowd could have been far more if not for some who fell ill or was away with work commitments. Or some just didn't bother to keep in touch. Nevertheless, it was a great gathering.

It was all loud and noisy at our garden dinner. Whenever we saw someone, we went all "Hi", "Hey", "How have you been?", "What are you doing now?" and the catching up continued. Halfway through the meal, someone pat you on the back and we went "Hi", "Hey", "How have you been?", "What are you doing now?" all over again. And we repeated our current lives for the 10th time.

Man, it was so good to see everyone. All my childhood people. You know what, the funny thing is, all of us are still staying in Cheras and we need a gathering like this to meet up. And we have to go all the way to Damansara to do just that. "We can just come out to McD or Maideen or Old Town anytime right?" Hah. Yea. But that's the fun of it. The fun of meeting up. As if we were in a classroom again. I mean, we have our head prefect there. And so is our class monitor. But there was no "Classsss...Senyap!" this time around. Haha...We got the green light to make all the noise we want. Yaayyy!

We headed down to WIP at Bangsar Shopping Complex for a drink after the dinner. Cause someone said the night was still young (it was already 11.30 pm then) and that they hadn't had enough alcoholic content in them to get through the night. So there we were. At WIP. More catching up. Giggling. Picture taking. Smoking. Laughing. Joking. Boozing (well, not everyone..)

And later at 2 am, someone else complained that they were hungry. So we went for a 3rd round. Back at the mamak at my place. From steaks and wine, we went to mee goreng and teh tarik. Gosh! You people can really eat. More jokes and laughs. By the time we end it, it was already 3.30 am. And I was half broke! My whole Saturday night have been dedicated to them.

It's good to see you guys again. It's good to get back the feel of the 'old' days. You all were still the same, even under those feminine and macho appearances. Some things just stays....

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The stages of life: What we went through

When we were in elementary school, all we knew was play. Running around. Climbing trees. Skipping classes. Eating junks from the aunty by the road. Playing puppy loves, "Yerrr, she likes you." "You no good, I don't want to friend you already." Kids. We do what kids do. Laughing. Messing around.

When we entered high school, we turned our focus on studies. PMR, SPM, STPM. We got active in sports. We got involved in curricular activities. When we meet up, we talked about homeworks, comparing exam questions, that big carnival at the adjacent school, that popular tution centre, that new boyfriend/girlfriend, trying out new things for the first time, choosing courses and colleges. We try to grow up while stll being kids at the same time.

When we hit college life, we worry about financing problems, we worry about grades, we got all stuck in assignments. In the mean time, we started to head out even more. We got to flash the big 'P' on our windscreens. We hit the cinemas, we hit the cafes, we spent more time at the mamaks. We started to experiment with fashion. We started to go on trips on our own. We got our certs and got ready to apply for jobs. We wanted to prove that we were matured enough to do things on our own but couldn't shed the kid that was still inside us.

When we got into the working world, we talked about our companies, our bosses, our colleagues, our jobs. We discussed about paychecks, about switching jobs, about relationships, about the next big thing. We noticed the changes that we were facing. And we tried to deal with them. We hit the social scenes even more. We complained about life. We complained about the things that we are going through. Tough times. Looking for each other for support. We were trying to move into the adult world. Not quite there yet.

Present. We are still dealing with life. Trying to find ourselves in the midst of the world. Trying to fit in. Trying to make it big. We now talk about plans for the future. About commitments. About investments. About buying properties and cars. About doing business on our own. About politics. About economics. About the conflicts we are facing. About the decisions that we are so afraid to make. We no longer mess around like we used to. We began to take more responsibilities to our hands. We began to think about the consequences of each step made. We are growing up. And along the way, we missed our childhood. Wanting to go back to the years when we were still climbing trees...

What does the future holds for us?

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A foolish decision

Being a young adult who is neither matured nor naive (remember 'not a girl, not yet a woman'?), I made a rather hasty decision. This little voice at the back of my head went "Just go for it. It's worth a try." I obeyed. I went for it without even a second thought. It was after I've done it that I realised what a stupid mistake I made. That I should have at least thought of the consequences. I was feeling guilty all the way after that.

I tried to think in a more positive light. Maybe it was not so bad after all? Maybe something good might come out of it? Yea. Who am I fooling with? I can't turn back time. I don't know what I'll do if things really go wrong. I just hope that it doesn't.

Man, this shouldn't be coming from me.

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A weekend trip down to JB

Before I even start with anything, a very big thank you to both HK and Pa for driving all of us down. Tiring, I know. So thank you!

The trip down has its purpose. To attend Dia's open house. "Wah! All the way there just for one night? You people must be good friends huh?" That's what I got when I told people of my plans for the weekend. Yea. We are close friends. Or maybe we were just merely accompanying Pa to meet his girl. Hah! *Shrugs*

Not much to tell. Because we didn't really go to alot of places. All we did was eat. We departed at 6 am. We were suppose to reach in time for this good breakfast. But our plan side tracked a little, so, we missed the breakfast. We starved till lunch before Dia took us to this place for home-cooked meals. Then it's off to Jusco Tebrau for a little shopping. Met up with Kenny and Jac there and we had a short talk over cakes and ice-creams. Yummm. By the way, it's good to see you again man. Still the same old Kenny. You have not changed one bit at all.

Went back just in time for the open house meal. Eat...again. Buffet style catering. The usuals laa..You know. Dinner was not really digested when we headed out for supper. This time for some real delicious "kuey teow soup". Suprisingly they were still open even at 1 am. So late night supper, then early breakfast of fried lobak the next morning, then lunch of wantan mee. Did I mention we had like 70-80 pieces of wantan? No, I didn't. And now I did. I kept telling them I was full on each meal. And they kept deducing that I am a small eater. Well, now you know why.

Thinking about it, there were some "interesting" incidents along the way. In just that one day. We played with balloons. And burst a few of them. The guys were trying to 'make out' with one another. Took a spin down to JB town to find hookers and 'aquas'. Watched Singaporeans pump gas at this one particular Shell station only. Ran over a cat. And left it flipping with pain by the road. Yea. Cruel us. Watched some drunkard shouting all over by the road. Went over to Danga Bay to walk a little. And that's about it. One short trip.

The only part I like was when we were hanging out on the balcony after dinner. Chatting. Blasting songs. And staring into the dark sky. I like to be in the company of friends. Doesn't matter if we were not really doing anything. :)

P/S: Dia, I hope we didn't messed up your room badly. Thanks for having us around.

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The nicest thing I heard in weeks

"No matter what, you will forever be my friend. You do not need to change. Not in front of me. Not in front of us. You are always free to be yourself . Rest assured."

That truly made my day. I was touched.

Thank you so much.

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Got a parking ticket!

"Just park by the road laa. Can wan la. Everyone's doing that also what." That's how my friend "convinced" me into getting a parking ticket later on. Hah!

It was after dinner. Too early to head home, so we went down town to this cafe for a drink. It's called Wingz. There..those cafes which became usual hangout places for youngsters in the chinese community lately...dimly lighted...sofas...curtains...chinese live bands...scented teas...card games....Think Station 1 and GasOline and you'd get the idea.

So we were there. To chill. To check out hotties. And to spill it all out. Something like truth or dare. Everyone picks a card. The person with the "Ace" calls out a number. The person with the number called will have to answer one question posed by the "Ace" holder. And you have to tell the truth. It was a good one. We got answers to questions we wanted to ask all along but didn't dared to. We get to talked about alot of things that we'd been dying for people to hear. We discussed alot of things. We share our experiences and opinions. A rather big hoo-hah. We talked loud. We laughed loud. Flirted with the waiters. Poke fun at each other. Acted rather roughly. We didn't care! It was a girls' night out! You'd dare to do anything if you know you are dominant in numbers. =P

Yeah. Amidst all the fun, 3 hours later, I paid the price. Came out of the cafe with this big parking ticket waiting for me on my windscreen. Nice! I'm never going to return the this Wingz. And the ticket is not going to stop me from parking on yellow lines in the future either. ;)

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On a night like this

It's 2 am. Guess what? I am still at work. High up on the 47th floor in the middle of the city. The roads below are bare. No people. Very very few vehicles. The people I work with do bore me sometimes. Or I should say, I do not click with them. I seriously have no idea why did I voluntered to stay on. Cause what I do have no relevance to the purpose of staying late tonight. Yea. I should just probably leave. But my car was parked rather far away. I am a little worried in getting to it at this hour alone. Or maybe I should just take the risk. I feel totally out of place. I hope that this would end really soon so that I'd be able to get away and do something more useful. At least.

Well, on the brighter side, I have the internet connection to complain a little here. Where else can you get to blog while enjoying KL city's night view on an armchair? Well, the conference room that we are in is for the expense of high profiled management. And my mum keeps popping me messages to get home as soon as possible. Man! No one does understand. No one even bothered when I called to ask for some advices. Yea. All were sound asleep with their phones shut off. Talk about urban civilisation. There you have it. It's every one for their own.

I no longer know what to say. Life. It lifts you up. It pulls you down deeper. When I thought there wasn't hope anymore, there was light. When I was high on hopes, a brick was thrown right into face, shattering everything. How ironic. It is never satisfying. Thus, do not ask too much. But if you don't ask, you will not be satisfied. So what is left to be done in the end? A question with no answer. And an answer which many of us, honestly, seek.

My boss hasn't shown any signs of leaving. And I'm already seeing stars. And it's like what, almost 3 now. So I assume I can get in at 12 tomorrow? Heck, she won't be in too anyway. So who knows? I am definitely not passionate about my job. If not I won't be complaining about it now. Hah!

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No one

With what I am today, I felt inferior. Small. Useless. Invinsible. I don't have what it takes to do my job. I don't have what it takes to be a person. I don't have what it takes to be a friend. I don't have what is takes to be a daughter. I don't have what it takes to be anyone. I felt like I was nothing. Someone of no importance at all. It can go on with or without me. Doesn't really make a difference there.

I lost it. I turned my inferiority to dissatisfactions. I turned dissatisfactions to anger. I got mad at all. I showed my temper at my colleagues. I barked at them. I minimised all communications with them. I didn't pick up calls from friends. I didn't reply messages. I slacked at work. I was only clustered with thoughts of what a sad case I am in this world. It was tough to get by the day. Anger is a tiring thing. I broke down by the end of it. I tried to hold it back. It's not nice to have 10 pairs of eyes staring back. But it wouldn't stop. I so wish to hold on tight to someone and just let it flow. And yea. I got a virtual one instead. Dearie, that's not going to help lah...

It's painful. It hurts to know that you don't fit in. That you don't belong. That you are merely just an outcast. Someone actually did noticed the tears. I didn't know how to explain when she asked what was the matter. But I did appreciate the concern...

I still need a tight hug......

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Losing it

Times have certainly change. I've seen numerous taglines which read, "It's not the same anymore". Didn't quite get the real picture of it then. Cause everything was the same to me. Untill I experienced it for myself did I really understood what does it means now.

The whole day today had been wet and cold. Rain didn't stop pouring since morning. And it is because of this that I stayed at home the entire day. Doing absolutely nothing useful. Really nothing. Lazed in bed. Rolled under the sheets. Skipped lunch. Nothing interesting was on TV, so I shut it off after 1 hour of switching channels. Picked up my novel but didn't complete a chapter. Went online, but found out that there was nothing in particular that I needed to do there, so I went offline. Remembered that I had some unfinished work to do, but felt too lazy to even switch on my laptop, so I ditched the idea of it. Wanted to help out with house chores but mum said she'll take care of it, so I was left with not much to do.

Little did I know, time just went on like that. It will be mid night soon. Another day has gone by. I sit here now wondering if this is a life that I want it to be. Without purpose. Without direction. It had never bothered me before. I had enjoy the comfortability and perfectness of my life all these while. As I mentioned, times are changing. How I lead my life currently no longer satisfy my needs of it. I wanted other things. Better things. Different things. Things, I realised, were "bestowed" to others rather than to myself. I look around with envy that some people I know are doing the things that I had thought of doing. Only never been given the chance. Some people are experiencing life that I longed to have. Only never been given the opportunity. Wise men always say, "Opportunities need to be earned. It won't drop from the sky." I guess I'm just not lucky enough. And the big question is, WHY?

I look back all these years and realised I've never did anything particularly amazing. Life given to me had sort of been wasted. No proud acheivements. No wonderful experiences. No interesting events. Lame one. If someone were to ask me what I did all throughout my life, I guess I would have a hard time answering him. Or maybe I would just walk away. Embarrassed. I know it's time to make a difference. I lack the motivation and the courage to do so. It's all my own fault actually. I wanted something and yet didn't make enough effort to go for it. I waited. And waited. All I've been doing is waiting. Waiting for what exactly? I do not know. And I would still continue this waiting. Till eternity.

I seriously enjoy writing. It's been a flair that came at a very young age. I do not dare say that I'm good at it. I have known people that can write even better. It's just something that I enjoy doing. It gives me pleasure. But other than the little space I have here, I don't think I will ever bring this pleasure of mine to a higher level.

Being a hermit does does things to your head.

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Childhood memories

These mails have been circulating at work lately. Those "80's babies" kinda of thing. It brought back my childhood days which were gradually being pushed to the back of my head. Not purposely. But as time goes by, it does happen.

I reckon all are familiar with these pictures. So no further explanations needed. If you are born in the 80's, then you'd know.

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The break of every make

This line just pop up. Came out of no where. Kinda true. It has always been a fact that what ever being made will be broken. I would like to find an exception to that but nothing has proved me wrong so far. All the on-goings around me have just strengthen the fact further.

I was working late yesterday. I turned around and looked at my fellow colleagues. I turned my attention to the few resignees who are due to leave at the end of the month. My mind can't help but flashes back to the time we met. To the times we worked together. To the times we played. To the times we stressed out. To the times we helped each other out. Then it flashes forward where they would no longer be around. The space they had taken all these while would be empty. No longer will I see them coming through the glass door. No longer will I see them fussing at the printer. No longer will I see them carrying tonnes of files, searching for a seat. No longer will I chill with them during work hours. Time has passed real darn fast. I don't think I'd be able to hang out with them one last time, doing the things we used to do.

My attention then drifted to my current colleagues who were hogging on to their screens, looking at some complicated worksheets. I wonder how long can we sustain the relationship we currently enjoy? How long more before some one spills the decision that they are leaving as well? It's sad to think about it. I ended up packing and headed home. Not wanting to think about the people seated at the hotdesking, both current and soon-to-be past.

It never left my mind. I don't think it ever will. You can't just erase the people who had been in your life. No matter how short a period you knew each other. No matter how far they went away. No matter how long you lose contact. They stay. And in the end, you'll end up missing them. You'd wonder if they are well? If they are all right with where they are? You'd be glad that you've crossed paths with them. At least, once in this life time.

You make something. It breaks. That's when you start treasuring.

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Sick of people...

Why can't people just leave me alone? Why do they have to come messing around with my life? And what does my life got to do with them anyway? It's MY LIFE! MY CHOICES! MY DECISIONS! When in the world do they have any right to tell me what to do? To tell me how I should lead my life?

Just because certain people wants a perfect life doesn't mean I want one to. I am contented with what I have. I am happy with all that I owned. So what if I'm flawed a little? You dare tell me that you are all that perfect? That you don't have weaknesses? That YOUR life is THAT perfect that you can come telling other people to live the way you do? Well, I certainly do not want your life!

I had a happy childhood. I have family. I have friends. I had a sound education. I got myself a stable job. I'm in the pink of health. I have no money issues. I have fun on and off. I'm glad for all that. I don't ask for more. I already got MY ALL! So what if I lose out a little here and there? So what if I am not comparable to certain people of my age? It doesn't bother me one bit. Why does it even matter to you? Why did it even spark sympathy from you? Do I look very pitiful?

I certainly know where I stand. I can't be sure what the future lies for me but I can roughly guess where it's heading. You think you know my life better than I do? Who the hell do you think you are? Is it just so wrong? You need to wake up and smell the 21st century. Things are certainly not the way it is anymore. There's no such thing as a perfect world.

A whole bunch of people would be able to tell you that the world is indeed unfair. No matter how many "whys" you ask. You'd get the same answer. It is unfair. There's not much you can do about it. I recognise that. That's why I don't whine anymore. I'd rather take the unfairness and turn it into something which I think would be fair to myself. I make compensations. "When a door closes, a window opens." I learn to see things in a different light. Why make life so difficult? You only got this ONE life! There's no repeating of every minute that passes. And it sure does passes real darn fast. To sit and dwell on the misfortunes, I think I choose to count my blessings instead. To make the most out of life is the best way to lead it. I don't need to own every single thing to acheive that. Life is not a destination. It is a journey. One to enjoy along the way.

So why can't you just let me be? I am enjoying life. I am making the most out of it. I am happy for who I am. For what I am. Don't come telling me that it's wrong. That everything is a mistake. I totally disagree with that. I know I didn't do anything wrong. I didn't do anything illegal. So, just let me be and get the hell away. You don't even have the right to say anything about me at all! Shut the hell up as well!

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A tribute to a good friend

He, stole my blog website and then came screwing me for not posting anything about him on my page. Well, dear Kenny, I shall dedicate one full entry on you now. You can thank me later on.

He was sort of invinsible at first. I have never noticed him during my first few months as a newbie. It all started during that trip to Bangkok where he was trying to hit on a friend of mine, in an airplane! Boy, I still remember how loud you've been. The rest, as they say, is history.

We 'formed' a gang at work. Like a mob. Hah! People knew us as "Kenny's gang". Now since when did we agreed on electing you as the leader? Nevertheless, the gang continued. And people recognised us based on that. We became usual companions for lunches and dinners. It then extended to suppers, outings, drinks, trips and what-so-ever.

He, is someone so very full of stories. Full of issues. Full of exaggerations. Full of crap. A drama king. If you are ever a writer, I guess you'd never be out of materials to publish. Lost wallets, lost phones, car accidents, misplaced keys, break-ups, hospitalisation, arguments, emergencies, hard feelings...One pretty messed up life. Every other week, he'll have some story to share. And each time he'll go, "Do you know how serious it is ah?" "Yes. Yes. Your everything is always very serious..." Sometimes, you'd wonder if you should believe the whole thing or only part of it. =P

Actually, now I know why he is deemed leader. Cause all of us have to put up with his requets. For fear that the sensitive side of him would erupt. Yes, he is definitely one sensitive young man. Admit it! He was in a bad mood. He called for a drink at mid-night. Yes, boss. You have to come out. He has an emergency outstation. He wanted some company. Yes, boss. You have to go along. He asked you for dinner. He asked you on what to eat. You tell him so. He said no, he wanted something else. Yes, boss. What ever you say. He didn't see you for a while. When he finally does, instead of a "How you've been?", he went, "Eh, pinjam phone. Emergency". Yes, boss. You can have it for as long as you wish. He wanted Secret Recipe. You went along. At the end of it, he says, "Eh, today no money. Pay for me first". Yes, boss. You can repay me back next year. He agreed to pick you up. You called when he didn't show up after half an hour. He said he'll be an hour late without any reason. Yes, boss. You can wait forever. If you don't comply, he'll end up sulking in some corner and wouldn't even say hello when you pass by. That's Kenny for you.

This week marks his last days with the firm. And next week, he'll be totally out of town. I am still waiting for that personalised farewell mail that he promised. Lets see what's his last words are. It is with mixed feelings to see him go. On one hand, we would no longer have to put up with his erratic behaviour. On the other hand, hate to say it, but I will surely miss you.

Gone will be your donkeys, monkeys and chickens...Gone will be your companionships late at nights and on weekends...Gone will be your "Staying late ar? Dinner?"...Gone will be your "Eh, pinjam tag..." Gone will be you fooling around at work...Gone will be you invading my laptop...Gone will be you coming in late and asking for lunch at 11 in the morning...Gone will be you asking for clubbings...Gone will be your all-famous Shakira moves...Gone will be you sneaking up behind me... Gone will be all the heart-to-heart talks...Gone will be your "from the bottom of my xxx" ....

It has been 2 years. And it was indeed a pleasure getting to know your acquaintance. You leaving would be a loss. But still, all the best for your chosen path. Hope you find happiness and the life that you seek. Take good care of yourself. Do keep in touch. Errr, I think that is going to be a problem. Since not many has been able to be in touch with you. No. Since NOBODY has been able to be in touch with you. (Ahem! Faham-faham lah)

So long, friend...

Farewell...
Till we meet again....

*Isn't he just charming? WAHAHHAHA!*

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Loving night views

My fascination for night views have never failed to cease. I find bright coloured lights paired with the dark sky is something to be amazed of. It gives a form of pleasure. It's something worth living to see. It's something worth remembering. Each different location gives you a different view. And all of them have been oh-so captivating. =P

I just love 'em all!

*The Twin Towers from Skybar*

*Some cottage at The Peak*

*Backed by Hong Kong Island*

*Hong Kong city*

*At the very top of The Peak*

*KL city from Look-out Point*

*Back-ing KL city*

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When ducks talk to chickens...

....they end up like this.

This is what happens when people with accounting qualifications talk to their IT counterparts. I don't get what you are explaining. You don't understand what I want. So how?

So, they shall just continue being ducks and chickens.

Now who are the ducks and who are the chickens?

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Clouded...

You have been wrong. The heart is not hardened. It’s always been delicate. It will always be. I am still not right. I’m sorry D, I can’t be strong. Certain things are much easier said than done. “Always think on the bright side”. “Choose to live happy” etc etc. They don’t seem to take any effects.

I am still clouded. Maybe you are fed up of this. So I suggest you stop reading further. I lay in bed each night, thinking , “Was it right to do what I did?” “Was it right to withhold something that I should do?” “Was it right to feel what I felt?” “Was it right to say the words I said?” “Was it right to not say the words that should have been said?” Guilty on all sides. Regretful of which ever action taken. The more I think, the more confused I got. The more I try to rationalize, the more mixed up I become.

I do things that I'm not too sure if it's right. Along the way, I messed up. People got hurt. People got disappointed. People changed their impressions of me. I didn't know where to say "I'm sorry". I let it be. Hoping that they would understand. Hoping that they would understand the lost soul in me. But it doesn't work that way anymore. I left wounds unattended. It usually swells. And the pain grows even more.

There are hundreds of times when I so feel like buzzing someone to spill. I needed someone to talk to. But my girl is all the way in London. The rest...would they understand? Would they get what I am going through? Would they be able tell me what to do? I wish that something would just knock me hard on the head so that I can erase all these stupid crap from me. Or knock me hard enough so that I don’t have to wake up to deal with all of them.

Do me a little favour. Look at me. Tell me what you see in return.

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"Swelling" not subsided

I messaged Lin jie at 3 this morning. Surprisingly, she replied me. She called back today asking if anything was wrong. Yes. Everything seems to be wrong. I didn't know where to start. I didn't know what to tell her. I don't feel all right. I've not been all right ever since Michelle left a week ago. Everything doesn't seem to be going well after that. I needed people to talk to. I needed to see someone. I'm still stuck here, nowhere. Doing....nothing. I don't know what I'm doing. My mind has been clouded with so many thoughts. So many confusing thoughts.

I look around. I see people. I don't see people. I hear people. I don't hear people. I absorbed the neccesary to get me going everyday and allow the rest of me to drift away in thoughts of nothing. I'm like floating. Floating....floating...

It's getting harder to breathe. It's getting harder to see. It's getting harder to think straight. I'm not well. Mentally not well....
Emotionally unstable....

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Out in the open sea

As the night turned still, as the lights dimmed, with only the sounds of the ceiling fan and the music playing from the laptop, I sank into deep thoughts. Wondering why is everything the way it is. Were they all laid out? Can there be anything different?

Look at the time. My MSN buddies keep pushing me to bed. I want to sleep it all away too. To lay in some dream where everything seemed to be perfect. But I'm not asking for a perfect life. I'm just asking for certain needs of mine to be satisfied. Is that so much to ask?

Life is damn difficult. What ever you do, surely something will go wrong. Something to feel guilty about. If I do this, others might think the negative of me. If I don't do it, I'll regret for not following my heart.

Swimming in the open sea.
With no sight of land.
Exhausted.
Waiting for that life boat that might never come.
Waiting....
Waiting....
Waiting....
Time to stop swimming....

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"A whole new world"

A week has past. And I longed to jump back on that plane that flew me all the way to Disneyland. Man, I couldn't get my mind off that wagging Pluto. It's just so adorable!




The trip was, well, sort of came in a rush. We felt like taking a break. We got tired of local places of interests. Hong Kong seems to be the place that we could afford. So, we set a date and off we went. Mana tau, a typhoon hit the island. And we nearly got blown away. Nah...we just got to experience real strong wind. And the fear that comes with it. Something you couldn't get here.

I'd never walked so much. I'd never rode on MTR that many times. I'd never ran in the rain all day. I'd never posed so many times to get that perfect shot. I'd never been woken up so many times due to someone's unattended alarm. My trip had been dead tiring.

Even then, one week is definitely not enough. I didn't get to go to Ocean Park. I still want to hang around Disneyland. I've not tried few local delicacies. I'm not done with the shoppings. Alot more pictures which we didn't snap. So many things that we didn't do! Another round people?

I believe pictures are worth a thousand words. Here's our story:

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Michelle...missing you already

I really hate goodbyes.

My girl left for London this morning. Not too sure if she could adapt to the environment there. I certainly couldn't. I couldn't accept the fact that she is no longer here. I mean, c'mon...She's been with me for the past 10 years. Close and supportive.

Like any other Sunday, I woke up this morning feeling bored. I picked up the phone, thinking of calling her for window shopping, when I realised that she's already on the plane, a few hundred feet in the air. Old habits die hard. I wonder if I would still call her in the middle of the night, when I couldn't sleep.

Her dream of studying overseas have finally came true. I am happy for her. Girl, you better make the most of everything you can there. Take care of yourself, alright?

Miss you.

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