Losing it

I began to make promises that I fail to keep. I began not to complete tasks that I set out to do. I have no reasonable explainations for my actions. Excuses have been a daily routine. I was dodging from certain people. From certain assignments. I began to start to push everything till tomorrow, where I clearly know that I will delay it some more to the next day. I lost the enthusiasm I once had. I lost the motivations I once owned. I lost the heart for this. In the midst of it all, I began to lose myself. This is not the person that I am. This is not the person each time I looked in the mirror. This is not the person others have laid their hopes on. This is not the person others have known. This is not the person that I want to be. I sigh each time I think about what is it that I should do to mend things. What is it that I should do to get back on track. I carry fear every morning. Fear of what the day might bring. Fear that I would screw things up. Either intentionally or unintentionally. And no one would be there for me to cry for help....

Just pray that I don't do something stupid in the mean time.