Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Twist of events

Well...well...well.....A month has passed since my last post and here's a round up on what has happened so far:

1) Things at the new company is not as good as it seemed to be. One week after I got in, the manager tendered. And then a few others did the same as well. The grapevine has it that something is not too right with the way management manages the company. A lot of complaints. A lot of disatisfactions. A lot of scoldings from the bosses. I'll disregard them as personal opinions if 1 or 2 person were to grumble. But, if more than 5 person grumble the exact same thing, then I'd presume that it's a fact. It gets even more scary when the outgoing manager kept telling me to watch my back and to beware of certain people. Oh boy, did I make another wrong decision in joining this company?

2) The desire to quit has been reinforced. The desire to quit the profession to be exact. I am getting more miserable which each passing day. As I sit at my desk each morning, I ask myself why am I here again today to look at these numbers again. I still don't find the purpose and the passion in all that I do now, no matter how hard I tried. I keep having this feeling that I'm not suppose to do this. That I'm meant for something else. But I just couldn't figure out what this other thing is. On the other hand, I'm afraid to take this leap out. I can't get myself to let go off my status and my achievements so far. So, actually, that leaves me no where other than mounting miserability.

3) I don't know why this has bugged me, but it did distress me. I am being lamented for being too young. It surprises people when they found out that I'm 27. Only 27 and already in this position? Unbelievable! Yeah, that's the response they usually give me. And along with that comes disrespect and unconfidence. I am being doubted for my abilities because of my age. It's hard to get things done when people treats you like a kid. I have become a victim of age discrimination. And I'm not too happy about it.

It has been one full depressing month. How I wish someone could just shed some light and just tell me exactly what to do.
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Pampered. Rebellious. Princess.

When words get unspoken...

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