Exhausted...

They say, "To treat others well, is to treat yourself poorly."

Well, it depends at times. It wouldn't have been an issue if you are doing it on your own will. But if you are not and you have to?

It's been an exhausting few weeks. Handling jobs. Managing people. All kinds of people that is. Being stuck in almost 2 hours of jam every other day and rushing to be there on time. Entertaining friends. Leaving some time for family. Slotting in work during what ever time I can spare. Taking care of the welfare and the feelings of others. For what actually? What are all these really for? Doesn't seem to make any sense.

Why do I stay back at work when bosses only cared about the deadline rather than if I've taken my dinner?
Why do I hang out with friends late into the night when no one ever bothers to check if I've reached home safely?
Why do I take the trouble to go all out of the way to drop someone when they don't even turn around to say thank you?
Why do I worry about the welfare of my team mates when they leave without informing?
Why do I keep the happy moments when they've already forgotten about it?
Why do I still think about you when you don't even know?

It's both tiring and disappointing. And I think I'm done. Done with all these craps. I'm calling it quits.

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F.U.C.K.

"F.U.C.K stands for "Friends U Can Keep". So promise me you'll F.U.C.K me forever! Cause I'll F.U.C.K you forever too. Send to all your friends and see who will F.U.C.K you back."

Got this text not too long ago.Interesting.

So who wants to get F.U.C.K-ed?

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Not looking alike...

Apparently, we look nothing alike. Most people would not notice the similarity in us. Friends, colleagues, salesgirls, waiters, hairdresses etc. They would take us for friends rather than sisters. Maybe it's because we carry different styles. She's more on the cuter edge and I'm more...errr...sassy?

Whenever we were in the mall picking lipsticks, the sales girl there would usually say, "Why don't you take this natural one and your friend here can take the pink one?" We both turned, "Friend?" and laughed. Here we go again. Little sis would poke fun by asking, "You think we are friends?" I've always enjoyed their stuuned looks when I tell them that we are actually sisters. The unbelievable look. Totally amusing.

Me and my little sis...
Can you spot the difference? Or rather, can you spot the similarity?

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Scolding from Pa...

It was real funny. Anything regarding my pa is always humurous. Even the scolding don't seem to sound like a scolding at all. I laughed the whole way through.

He had a drink or two late last night. He felt that he was not too sober to drive back, so he had wanted to crash at my place. I was fine with it. My pa right...he can crash on my couch. When he rang at 2.30 am, neither of us were fully conscious to actually understand what we were saying. Him drunk, me deep in sleep.

"Lui, you slept already?"
"Hmmm....yeaaa...."
"I drank too much....."
"Ohhhh...."
"............hmmm......never mind.....it's okay....I think I'll drive home...."
"Huh...oh all right...take care....drive safe...."
-Clicked off-

Come this morning, he went furious all over me.

"How could you do such a thing? You should've insisted that I come over. How could you let me drive all the way back on my own? In a drunken state? Don't you at least worry for my safety? What if something happens along the way? What if I ended up the morning paper? I don't even know how I manage to get back. I couldn't see the junctions. I couldn't see the road signs. It was so awful dangerous. How could you? How could you??"

It was so amusing. The way he said it. I can't help but laughed. He grew more annoyed. Yes pa, I was at fault. So sorry. I shall look out for you next time. Only not at 2.30 am....

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Remedy...

* Lets play swing...*

*Me love Rachie...Rachie loves me*

Just what I need to maintain a certain sanity in life...

I had a good few hours of total lepaking...

Thank you folks!

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My way!

Time to bring out the princess in me. Geee! This is going to be fun.

I've been tolerating a lot of people. Yes. I put their needs and their feelings above mine. I think about them first before I think about myself. I made way for them. I was being polite. I was being courteous. It's called social manners. Right.

Wrong! Why the hell should I be so well-mannered? I shall tolerate no more. I would like to think about me now. Me. Myself. And I. No one else. It's gonna be my way. How I want it. Where I want it. When I want it. My call. If people don't like it, then fine. I don't give a damn.

Princessess usually get what they want. Okay. I'm no real princess. So I might not get what I want. But, at least, I get to give people a hard time. And to tick of their anger a little bit.

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Blur Queen

"You blur blur wan la you..."

The phrase has been thrown at me numerous times. People never fail to remind me of it. The latest one came from uncle just last Saturday.

Dear everyone that knows me, am I really that blur?

Shucks! It doesn't seem to be a good thing.

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Dodging...

Avoiding. Running away. Ignoring.

There's this something that I got to do. Due to multiple pressures being laid on, I lost track. I lost direction. I lost the spirit. I lost the will.

To take my mind off it, I hung out more. I agreed to what ever outing that came my way. I came up with all kinds of excuses. I left it unattended. I pushed it to the very end. To the very last minute where I knew it had to be done. Still, I don't have the heart for it. So, I delayed it some more.

I actually had today to, at least, finish off something. But it's Thaipusam plus Chap Goh Meh plus Cheryn's birthday. Off all the things, it's the least important. The truth is, it's no longer a priority. So many other things preceeded. But, it has to be done. Yet, I'm still dodging.

Just how long more could I keep running? Just how long more could I sustain before being screwed badly?

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Trust betrayed

Just how could this even happened? What on earth happened to trust and friendship?

You call yourself a friend. Someone whom others look for when they are having some sort of hardships in life. Someone to offer a shoulder to cry on. Someone to offer an ear to listen. Someone to offer a hand. And yet, after all these years, after all the trust laid on you, I couldn't understand why you had to this.

You betrayed a friend. You betrayed someone close. You betrayed her trust in you! OUR trust in you. This is totally nonsense. It's insane! What kind of person would do such a thing? Have you thought about the consequences? Have you thought about how much hurt it would caused? Is this what you want? What has she done to you to deserve this? What have we done to you?

You've sparked the flames of anger. You are a true disappointment! You really are. How dumb were we to let you in. How dumb were we to lay hopes that you would improve one day. Clearly you do not cherish the friendship we made. Clearly it is all not worth it for you. Then so be it. You've just wrecked the entire thing. Rest assured that it will never be the same again. Ever!

You can save your reason for yourself. What ever it is, I don't think it's a reason at all. You've shown your true colours. And now we see it clearly. Just bear in mind that what ever goes around, comes back around! You've lost us. Just so you know.

For those who were affected, no worries. We got your backs. That's what friends are for.

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A hole in the pocket

New year. Not a good start.

Well, no luck in this...

Seriously no luck...

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I left you behind...

Today in history. Exactly one year ago. At CH. My junior had to remind me of it. Well, of course he will forever remember this day. The day that I, his senior, left without him. Yeaps. I was mean.

It was 1/2/2008. Federal Territory Day. Holiday! And I had to work. Although I was not the only one who had to sacrifice the holiday, still, it felt wrong. I made sure I left exactly on time to make myself feel better. C'mon! You would too wouldn't you? Furthermore, I had plans for the night.

5.15 pm. He was no where in sight. I thought of giving him some more time before I wrap up for the day. 5.30 pm. He was still not to be seen. I rang his cell. No answer. Another ring. No answer. Another ring. Still no answer. Okay. I don't know how long more I should wait. I packed and took the elevator down to the car park. 10 minutes later, he called.

"Hello, where are you?" (Obviously, he saw that my things were gone.)
"I left. Where did you go?"
"Huh!? So early? I was at my prayers."
"What so early? Today's a holiday. By right, we shoudn't even be working. 8 hours of OT is way more than enough. You can pack and go home as well."
"Oh. Okay. Since you say so."
"And next time, please let me know of your whereabouts."
"Okieee..."

Boy! You're still keeping this at heart. And you had to bring it up after one year. All right. I was at fault. Thousand apologies. It was not on purpose. I didn't know where to look for you then. I did call okay.

I just gave you a reason to always remember this day. Happy holiday!

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