The ugly side of people

In fact, they were never pretty. Oh, I'm sorry. WE were never pretty.

We are all hypocrites. You. Me. And everyone else. Don't you dare say that you are not one. Liars. Self centered. Two-faced. To strangers. To acquaintances. To friends. And even to families. "But, I have my reasons". Yea. You sure damn know what the hell your reasons are. What do I think? I think your reasons are not valid reasons enough if your actions hurt the people that you know. Extend that to the people that you do not know.

Where did all the honesty go? Where did all the sincereties went? I can forgive and forget if some moron down the road take me for a fool. I can well tolerate with that, cause, what the hell do I care about some dumbass whom I may never want to see again. What I can't bring myself to forgive are those "close" enough who treats me like crap. I mean, what the hell did I ever do to you to deserve something like this? Hidden agendas. Intentional tricks. Spare tyre.

I have all along treated people from the heart. Do you think my concerns and sincereties were all fake? If you wanna doubt that, then fine. I would be wasting my time trying to convince you so. But this has not happened once. Leaving me wondering if I really could trust anyone out there? Anyone at all? Just when I let my guard down, I was attacked. Nice.

All right then. I know what is there to do now. I shall play along. I shall continue being blur and dumb as always. I finally know what do people "look" like now. You wanna do it this way? I'll let you have it your way. If you treat me well, I can treat you much better. If you treat me like crap, don't blame me for being the devil. My philosophy.

If you want to take my sincereties for granted, then so be it. At least, I don't lie to those I deemed dear.

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Silence

I am left in a bewildered state at times. People are so hard to "catch". I can never know what is going through their minds. No matter how long I've known them. No matter how hard I tried to decipher. Well, as they say, and without a single doubt, humans are indeed complicated creatures.

I obviously knew something was wrong. That something was bothering. I asked to see if there's anything that I can do to help. I was returned with silence. All right, maybe you didn't want to talk about it the first time. I allowed a certain period of time to past before trying again. Yet, I was pushed aside. Was I being nosy? Even if I can't help out, I would always be there to hear you out. I tried another time. Again, you said nothing was wrong. That everything was fine. Okay. I take your word for it. Maybe I was being nosy. If being concerned about a friend is considered as nosy, then I apologise for being at fault.

I'm not mad. I'm disappointed that I was no longer trusted. And I have not a single clue as to the reason for it. Was it something I did? Something which I might not know of?

Nevertheless, nosy no more. My doors would always be open if you still wanted to talk. Any time is definitely fine with me. As always, I would always be there for anybody. You know of that. Otherwise, I guess I won't be meddling with your issues. I'm not at liberty to do so too anyway. Why bother to do certain things when it is not being appreciated?

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All smiles...

As I browse the pages of Friendster and Facebook, looking through the updates and current pictures of my mates, I can't help feeling glad and proud of what they've been through. Life had treated them well. They some how or rather found happiness throughout the years. In each of their own way.

They've seen the world. They found love. They made it big in their careers. They experienced the ups and downs of life. They achieved their dreams. They made their mark in the world. I am just proud of them. Proud of who they are. Proud that I got to know people like them. Glad that we had once crossed each other's paths.

*Smiles*

Now what did I ever achieved?

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Flushing my BM away

"In what circumstances does this situation occur?" Translate that to BM please.

I was with this Malay client of mine. I was asking him something on some routine procedure that I couldn't quite understand. That was what crossed my mind half way through the conversation. It came out to be, "Erm...Dalam apa situasi....I mean...Macam mana ini boleh berlaku?" The fella gave me pause and a weird look. Okay. Salah bahasa. Salah tanya. Wrong soalan. I tried again, "Maksud saya, dalam apa kejadian, benda ini akan berlaku?" I can feel that it's lousy still. But he got what I meant.

I just lost it. My head just can't seem to find the right words at that moment in time. So I just blurted out what ever seems appropriate. Yea. I know I'm a Malaysian. Being unable to converse in the national language would be a total embarrassment. But I've not used BM since like...since I left high school! It was English and Chinese all the way then.

Coming to think about it, I did get a distinction on my BM paper. Hey, I excelled in this subject alright? Guess it's time to throw my SPM cert into the bin. Gosh, where am I going to put my face in front of that fella again? Mannn...

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