Wednesday, September 6, 2006

Bullied?

am i being too nice? or i didnt noe how to say 'no'?

i felt being used and being taken advantaged of... issues dat others didnt wanna settle were pushed to me..i've been asked to go to places where others didnt wanna go...i even had to call up nasty nasty clients where the rest felt afraid to deal with...and wat can i say? im juz a newbie around...all they said were"it's a chance for u to learn and handle things"...is this the way to be?

i tried to see things in a brighter view...too see from a different perspective...dat i shudnt frown and to haf a more open mind on my job...i tried to take it easy and juz enjoy wateva dat i was asked to do...but those doesnt last long when the situation continues...the tasks are never-ending....i actually wud be glad to help around but to do stuffs that are out of my line, i wud like to think it's too much...i felt like hitting it back to my seniors but then i tot it wudnt be appropriate...who am i anyway rite?

i dunno how long i can put up with this mentally...im not really dat 'strong' after all... i head out to work every morning wondering if all these is wat i really liked to do...and did it really fulfill my purpose in life...i didnt find the passion in doing audit...i guess it's juz not my cup of tea...but my parents see it as a stable job...and i wud haf a bright future in this line...they are both at retiring age...and i understand it's the point in life where u wud feel unsecure about wat the future holds for u...this is the time for them to rely on their kids...but i am still at the cross road...unsure of which path to take..i didnt wanna turn into the wrong lane and spend the rest of my life regretting my decision....can i at least choose the path that i wanted to?

i've talked about this before...i've talked to mum about it, dat i felt like quitting...she gaf me this disappointed look and i knew right away dat i will be stuck doing this for quite some time...even tho she did say dat she wud support me if i wanted to do other things...but deep down it's not...dad seems very confident dat his girl wud continue his dream to be a successful accountant...little did dad know dat his little girl here is actually 'suffocating' and 'drowning' at the same time...

can someone guide me out of this maze? i cant find the door...and im afraid of being in the dark...

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Pampered. Rebellious. Princess.

When words get unspoken...

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