Pissed.....

at myself! i dunno whether to call myself too kind..too foolish or juz darn easy going... numerous times have ppl ask me for favours... and if it's within my ability, i'll reluctantly say "yes"... no matter how disadvantaged it was to me...or how unwilling i am...and i dun get anything in return except for dat so slamba "thank u".. not dat i expect something in return anyway...

im caught in between wanting to help others and not go out of my way to do so.. some ppl juz really take u for granted... n their favours are those dat i really so wanna avoid but havent have a heart to do so...i juz din noe how to say no... so i end up feeling all boiled up inside knowing dat im juz helping for nothing...im using my own misery to fulfil someone else's desires...

i wonder if they really needed dat helping hand or was it juz out of convenience...at my expense! if dun help, feel guilty pulak...then how? stuck in the middle...

i guess the only consolation i get are from those clown fishes ( yeapz..little "nemo"s ) inside my client's aquarium... swimming so care-freely....and they swim backwards tho...how cute...