Never been in love

Already 24 and never been in love. Embarrasing even to admit. People are either feeling sorry, that there was something wrong, or that it's running out of time. "So, are you attached?" No. "Is there anyone that you've laid your eyes on?" No. "Has anyone come forward to you?" No. "C'mon. Don't lie. Lets be frank, shall we? You seem to have alot of friends. Surely there must be someone....."

Gosh. You people are making me anxious. People are beginning to get curious as to why I am still being single. It's like they can't sleep in peace if they don't see me hanging on to someone else's arms. I appreciate the concerns but I can only provide you with the same answer. It's not that I've set my standards high. It's not that I'm choosy. It's not that I'm weird. It's just that fate has not come my way yet. My cupid tersesat-lah dear...

Yes. There are moments of desperations. There are times of loneliness. There are nights where I felt like hugging someone tight to assure me that everything will be all right. There are days where I would like to hear the voice of someone dear to keep me going on. There are instances where I would like to be pampered and to be taken cared of. It's what every girl would have wanted.

I have felt the tinges of envy whenever I see lovey-dovey couples going hand-in-hand. I have watched from afar and wondered why the one has not been me. I have felt the pain of being brushed aside whenever a friend starts a relationship. I have asked if there is really anything wrong in me that causes this. But, on the other hand, I've seen enough breakups to bring up this question: what is the meaning of true love?

Do you just grab someone to beat the loneliness? Do you hang on to someone just for the sake of a shoulder to cry on? Do you take someone out as a show off? Do you say 'yes' to someone so that you won't be labelled as a pathetic singleton? And then a few years down the road, things get ugly and you break off the relationship. Citing irreconcilable differences as the reason or "There is no reason. It just happened." Love. It is so vulnerable. It is so blind. It is so exploited. Gone were the days where is was so sweet and genuine.

This is conflicting. I still leave it to fate to decide. If it comes, it comes. If it doesn't, then it doesn't. Love can be everything. It might not be everything as well. Cupid oh cupid, wer art thou? Just like me la I presume...my cupid has no sense of direction. LOL!