Got hit

yupz. i got involved in an accident this afternoon. my new car...gone!

this car hit me from behind. my bumper cracked. and the whole thing needs to be replaced. i din asked for compensations and neither did he. will let the insurance take care of it. but i guess his car was worst off. the bonet of his satria was lifted up. and smoke was rising from wat eva it is dat caused it. u noe me. cars and i. we dun connect. lolz.

but i was shaking. and it was raining. and i had to deal with this total stranger alone dat made it looked as if it was my fault dat he knocked into me. and obviously, i called dad. he juz told me one thing. dun pay anything. dun admit anything. get his details and get to the police station. settled. nothing much said. dat fella was quite a gentleman anyway. at least he didnt raised his temper or came yelling at me with a parang or something. of coz he wudnt. HE knocked into me!

rite. so here i am. not hurt la. going to the police station later. "sam tong". my baby tercacated dy.

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Almost got snatch thieved

There were 2 gatherings last saturday nite. 2 birthday gatherings. A belated one and an advanced one. Snce both birthday babies are close frens, it wud be rude to not turn up (excuse. actually, I was the one who wanted to hang out...hehehe). So i went for both. One after the other.

The incident happened when I was on my way to the second gathering. It was rather late by the time I headed to the venue. It was at this place dat I'm not familiar with. And quite far from the first venue. So by the time i got sesat, it got later. And still I cudnt find the place. U noe la, I have no sense of directions. Another fren had to come out to get me. Paiseh! :p

And so I parked and walked over to the cafe. In the meantime, I fiddled with my keys and phone in my handbag. The road to the cafe was full of cars and quite a number of ppl were waliking around. I, was busy talking to my fren. Then I saw this bike going slow headed towards us. 2 indians. My fren moved over closer to my side. The bike rode past. And I was still talking.

Seconds later, we both heard a scream from behind. We turned just in time to see this girl pointing towards the SAME bike that sped off. They had taken her bag. One of he frens gave chase on foot. Only then did I realised dat they were actually snatch thieves! Eyeing for victims! If my fren had not walked over closer to me and foiled their intentions, I wud have been the one pointing and screaming. And I guess he'll be the one chasing. Wat if they were armed? Thinking back about it now gives me the shivers. I was lucky. Lucky to have my fren there as well. Felt sorry for dat girl. She was not hurt. But not sure if she got her bag back. We didnt stay long on the streets. We had quickened our pace to the cafe. Who wudnt?

I really thank my fren for the escort dat nite. I dun think I'll walk to anywer alone anymore. Especially at nite. And I dun think I'll fiddle with my handbag when I'm walking. I'll keep an eye on my surroundings from now on. Once is enuf. Altho it was an 'almost' case.

Did my fren came closer to my side to let the bike pass or did he sensed danger fromr those 2 fellas? Shall ask him when i see him again the next time.

And girls, take note alrite?
Be safe.

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Fortune teller

i know, i know. i mentioned before dat i dun believe in stuffs like this. i only believe in myself. ceh.

but, anyway, out of curiosity, i went to see this fella. thru all my frens who've visited him, they claimed dat he's good. very good. accurate. so i was there at his stall this afternoon. no. yesterday afternoon. since it's past 12 now.

he's this rather plump man, around early forties. his stall is situated in the middle of a mall and is full of crystal peripherals. bracelets. pendants. ornaments. accesories etc etc. he wud be standing there in the middle reading ppl's palms. and they are all chinese ppl. chinese aunties to be exact. chinese aunties who really believed in him. religious ppl i wud say. we actually had to line up to see him. get a number and wait. wait till he's done with those dat came before us. alrite, so we waited. for 3 whole hours.

my turn finally. braced myself for the worst. and true enuf, it was worse than i tot. according to mr fortune teller, i was doomed from birth. to the day i leave this world. im not exagerating. even tho he din really say dat, but it's pretty much the same thing. from my palms, he was able to tell dat : i sucked at relationships ( which explains y im still single up to date ), and even if i did get married, it wont be a 'happily ever after' one.
oh-kay. next, i will have my own business. and i'll only reap the fruits after going thru some hard times. even then, the fruits will only be sweet for a short period of time. oh-kay. i'll be suffering all throughout my life. particularly at old age. oh-kay. i will be full of illness. oh-kay. and i'll eventually put on lots of weight later in life. oh-kay. and my grades are on the average side only. not very outstanding. OH-kay.

sounds like i dun believe everything he said, huh. well, the truth is, i dun even noe if i shud believe him. my life, from his words, is like the worst of the worst. and im still living. i might as well die then. save myself from all those miseries. dat's y i went "okay. alrite. uh-huh." to all dat he has to say. his words doesnt seem to have an effect la. i was not worried and i din go like "oh, no! wat am i to do now?" dat kind of reaction, u noe. maybe i half expected wat he has to say. and im cool about it. i already knew my life wont be as good compared to others. and i dun care. nothing i can do anyway.

but, in the end, i did buy a crystal bracelet from him. a dark purple one which supposely able to change my life for the better. everyone happens to own one and so i tot, y not? it looks nice wat. hehe. either i'll be putting it on as another one of my accesories or im really curious to know if it'll bring some difference to my life. we shall see in due course.

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BBQ nite

triple celebrations last nite. 3 birthday babies. van, rach and dia. and it was raya eve.

the whole gang was there. everyone turned up. at van's place. since her family was not in, we totally made ourselves at home. making a whole lot of noise. a party wont be a party without some loud ppl.

highlights of the nite:

• late ppl making 'big' entrances
• guys barbequeing food the wrong way ( ALL of them made the same mistake...guys! )
• using the charcoal 'scissors' to pick food (and ate it anyway..)
• home made curry fish balls. nope. curry chicken balls.
• 2 individuals kept whispering among themselves. alone. a guy and a girl.
• 2 couples forced to french kiss. sportingly enuf, they did!
• guys syoked sendiri by forming into a circle with a lighted candle in the middle and sang a birthday song to celebrate the upcoming birthday of another guy fren.
• a usually noisy person suddenly turned quiet the whole nite. prompting questions from everyone. but no one dared to ask.
• girls cleaned up in the kitchen while guys messed around. kacau!
• 13 of us cramped around a small table to settle debts. wallets out. calculators out. bbq costs settled. cake settled. gifts settled. messy. but all settled.
• watched fireworks display at 12. raya! totally awesome. but something was missing. or rather someone.
• the end. everyone else left with company. i left alone. *sniff*

been doing a lot of thinking. i've paid too much attention on them the past year. they were my only focus. it's becoz i was happy when im around them. i got hurt when i failed to get back the attention i poured out. i neglected other ppl dat cared too. until when long lost frens started to drop me messages only did i realised dat they are not the only ones. i still have others. how silly it is of me.

i tried a different way to handle my feelings. to forgive and forget. to not take things too seriously. to be myself. to not care so much anymore. to be a little ignorant. to adopt " wat goes around comes around".

keep my mind occupied. keep my life occupied. i guess i'll feel better dat way.

and girls,

happy belated birthday. happy birthday. happy birthday in advance.

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Kids

i have nothing against kids...they are adorable and sweet...and at the age of between 1 to 10, dat is the happiest stage in life..no worries, no problems...everything will be taken cared of by mum and dad...and all u need to do is juz play, play and play...haf fun!

but, dun get overboard or u'll irritate ppl like me.

i was at leisure mall this afternoon, scouting for birthday gifts ( yah..again!) ... and after getting them, i went over to the autopay machine to pay for the parking fare..the queue was already very long and there was this particular lady up front with 3 kids in tow... they were making a whole lot of noise and they kept pestering her to let them pay...she gaf in...and since they were all kids, they couldnt reach the money slot..she had to carry EACH of them up in order for them to insert dat 3 bucks...and obviously they didnt inserted the notes in the correct way...the notes were rejected a few times! she really was wasting our time... either she was being really blind or she has no sense of rationalism or she didnt bring her brains out today...i understand if u really love ur kids and if u really wanna let them try out new things in life... dun do it at the expense of other ppl's time...gosh!

another incident at the cinema a few weeks back...was watching this movie with my folks... obviously a "U" rated one...i was very into this scene and all of a sudden my seat started to 'shake'...okay, i ignored it the first time...and then it came again...and again...and again...i turned around and found this kid...holding the back of my seat and jumping...i think mummy noticed me and imemdiately hushed her down...even then, she was not totally quiet...she kept going "mummy, wat are they doing?"..."mummy, is dat bag urs?"... "mummy, i want the lollipop"... "mummy, this..." "mummy, dat..." ish! if i had been a little bit more impatient....i wud have snapped back at her and her mum... goodness! if u wanna watch a movie...leave ur kids with someone else...they dun understand anyway... dun gif so much trouble to other ppl and to urself...and some other kid down the line started to merajuk and cried nonstop... daddy had to take him out to give everyone else a peace of mind....aihz! i shall opt for non "U" rated movies next time...

festive season...i accompanied mum to a supermarket nearby to get some groceries...and yea, kids again!! all over! one whole family with 5 to 6 kids in line...running up and down...screaming...playing with the products...and blocking the way for other trolleys to pass... i gaf up...i told mum to grab wateva we need and juz leave...some ppl are really too much... they are not considerate and they haf no concerns for other ppl...oopss! i forgot....human nature rite... we only think about ourselves...to hell with the rest...not important!

and parents...u have a huge responsibility...plz teach ur kids to behave in public... they will reflect on u...it's not a matter if u care or not...

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Proud to be friends

It's Deepavalli! okay, i know it has already past...but i'm still in the mood for it...

went over to aunt's place for the celebrations and for the annual lunch...munched on the tidbits (muruku!) and messed around with jay kor...and met his new girl...chinese, my age, petite, friendly and cool...it was nice talking to her...keep her close, jay! i did checked out jay kor's frens...but nah, non suitable...lolz!

then i headed over to summit to join my pals for bowling...have not bowled in years, man! i still remember i had picked up the skill from my fellow segarians back in high school, during one of the gatherings we had back then...it was fun, and it did brought back old memories...especially when there's a whole gang of us again... altho it's a whole different gang now...but it's sort of the same thing...i still enjoyed my time there... hey, im not too bad either...i did strike a few times...yea, i now...out of luck...lolz

since it was still early for dinner when we left...we went loitering around the gift shops there to scout for suitable birthday gifts for those celebrating their birthdays these few days...i dunno wat's wif oct and nov, but i haf like 10 close frens being born in juz a span of 3 weeks from each other...poor me! no!...my poor wallet!

anyway, we were loitering for quite some time in this gift shop, comparing this teddy with dat cow with dat pig and to dat doggie...when i felt a little bored and went to look at other stuffs in the next section when the owner came over to haf a brief chat... she's a nice lady...she said she was happy to see a bunch of friends still able to hang out together... judging from the fact that we are all working already...i was kinda surprised how she knew dat...she said our looks says it all...do we look like we are fresh from college and juz started to venture into the career zone? boy, she sure does haf a sharp vision....but i did felt proud when she said those.... we, still able to keep in touch... i looked back at them and thought " It really does feel good to have a bunch of frens"...for some laughter, for some company and for some support... (if u erase those scenes wer they break ur heart, u shud be fine)

a very close fren had once told me dat he too felt proud dat he cud still keep his 10 years old of friendship with us... and it is this particular close fren dat had been missing in action for the past year...some sort of a close fren! segarians haf passed the 10 years mark...and we do keep in touch still...beam with pride ppl! hahaha...we shall see if we make it to the 20 years one... *fingers crossed*

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The evening of Friday the 13th

wat do u get when u combine a hyena, a sakai, a chatterbox, a joker, a 'mosquitoe', a manja, a blur case and a confidiant, all in one?

take a guess.

sleepy. tired. stuffed. laughed. fooled around. crapped. spilled. and sat in the car outside my place for half an hour. wat is there more to say...

one wild nite. no. one crazy nite.

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The 'art' of 'drifting'

another solemn entry. spare urself. i dun care.

( monday. 3 pm. rainy weather. kim gary, sunway pyramid. barely empty. the sofa-ed long table rite at the end, by the window. additional tables added. 12 ppl. guys n girls. college students. eating n drinking. chatting n laughing. snappig pictures. gossiping, crapping and checking out passers-by. left all together later. kim gary immediately went still. )

sounds familiar? well, i was one of those 12 ppl not too far back. now, i can only be seated in one of those odd tables in the middle watching them n putting up a smile. which turned into a sigh a few seconds later. ah, the good ol' days. when we were all still together. lately....work, work, work. study. dating. family. commitments. tiredness. we no longer have time for each other.

from close to apart. from near to far. from far to near and then became further. from not too close to very close and then to "u seem to be a stranger to me now". conversations from "everything on earth" became to juz a mere "hi" and "bye" now. from "i see u almost every week" back then to "i din even see u once in 3 months" now. the advancement in technology doesnt seem to be of much help.

more recent news from here and there imply dat certain circumstances will 'sweep' us even further away. in different directions. life. ppl keep saying it's the norm when ur age creeps up with u. i refuse to believe the truth in it. someone once asked, "wer do u think we wud b 10 years from now?"...."would we still have this special bond between us?"..."wud we still be able to hang out like we used to 10 years ago?"

the bond is 'loosening'. we might bum into each other 10 years later and u might not even gimme a second look. ur life. my life. pre-arranged, we cross each other's path. u came into my life. i went into yours. u left footsteps in my life. i left mine in yours. wat next? fate decides.

i still think it wud be a waste. all those years of friendship. thrown away juz like dat? dun they mean anything? they certainly did for me. certainly.

sad.

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Happy mooncake festival

im still in office...it's friday and everyone left real early...i haf no idea wat im doing here actually...alrite, maybe i do...i dun haf any plans to go anywer and i dun feel like going home...so i let myself hang around my work place...to blog... pathetic!

yeah, at times like this i feel so sorry for myself...y din i pick up the phone? y din anyone called? my life...alwiz waiting for something nice to happen...and if it doesnt, i juz sit around...letting it pass...letting my youth pass, dat is...giving all kinds of excuses, dat fooled all other ppl but never myself...

boils down to attitude i guess....i never am the one to initiate anything...i never am the one to accomplish anything...i juz let everything be...and in the end, i regretted for not taking any actions...for not saying the words i wanted to say...for not doing the things i felt like doing....wat the hell is wrong wif me? my folks are pressuring... my frens are disappearing... my life is boring... and im sick wif everything...

and here, on this weekend nite....im still anticipating my cell to ring...
by whom?

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Don't know wat's the point

Argue. Argue. Argue.

Push the blame and raise the voices.

One leaves. One complains, complains, complains.

I choose to flee the scene. Do not wanna see anything. Do not wanna hear anything.

Who's fault is it really, anyway?

Sick.

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Work, play and getting ill

It has been a real hectic month. Me going from one place to the next. Barely had enuf rest and water. Waking up early and going to bed late. But it was a good experience and i genuinely did had fun. Leaving KL for a couple of weeks or so did indeed broadened up my 'horizons'. Met different ppl. Saw different things. Felt the countryside. Opened up my thinking. It was the perfect getaway i needed. Well, not exactly a getaway la, coz i was actually working most of the time.

As i mentioned, i was up in the northern part of malaysia for work purposes. I cant disclose too much about wat type of work i did due to confidentiality issues. It was not something new but since it was my first time getting involved in something like this, it was actually interesting. Altho at times we had to work past midnite and wif me getting ill for a few days. Yah, me...ill again. Got the flu for 2 days, fever for 2 days...serious fever, sore throat for a day and coughed a few nites. My voice turned hoarse and i was like seeing stars when doing my work. All while im away from home. No idea how many pills had i popped in dy.

And i still had the energy to go shopping and sight seeing. Geng! No way im gonna miss all the opportunity while im there, rite? Since we had a car to ourselves, we drove for an hour to Kuala Perlis for seafood. At nite! and wif 4 gals who are not familiar wif the place there. Damn daring! But wat the heck, we do anything for good food. Hahahaha! It was indeed good..crab, fish, sotong, vege..all for less than 80 bucks. Yummm...

Then there was the eating spree at Penang. Laksa, char kuey teow, rojak, oysters, bubur cha chas, bak kut teh, ikan bakar, crepes etc etc. Plus strolling down Gurney Drive to feel the sea breeze...syok! Real relaxing. I did mention i like wind blowing at my face rite...hehehhe...Plus a couple of weekend movies and numerous dangerous drivings. KL ppl. Dat's the only excuse. :p

For all Taiping ppl, i apologise first, but dat place is really so sad la. Nothing to do. Nothing to eat. Nothing to see. No nite life! And the night safari does not live up to its name. I dun think i can survive long there. The same goes for Alor Star. Slightly better than Taiping but still sad. Good for short vacations, but for a long term..no, thank you. KL ppl. Once one, will alwiz be one. Lolz!

So, im back now. Life goes on as usual.

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Bangkok/Pattaya

yeap...im back! and the trip to thailand was totally awesome...even tho everything was a rush...from the moment i stepped onto the plane at LCCT till the moment i stepped down from it...here's a brief insight on my 4 days there...

Day 1
boarded the evening flight from LCCT straight to Don Muang airport..the flight took 2 hrs and i dun like the seats up on Air Asia..it was up rite straight and u dun get much space between the seats..sort of cramped...so not comfy... other than dat, the service and the clealiness was fine...felt dizzy up on the plane and i slept through out the flight...

reached the airport and immediately got swept away by our malaysian tour guide to the bus dat was waiting at the entrance... drove straight to Prince Palace for the group dinner...we were already late and yet we still had to get stuck in traffic jams...i can tell u one thing...traffic in bangkok city is much worse than those in kl... red lights take ages to change to green and u can actually get stuck in ONE spot for half an hr...without moving AT ALL... on top of all dat, u haf to make way for some royal highness to pass... got real tired of waiting...but can we all do rite? our thai tour guide ( wif his not-so-fluent english ) talked non-stop all along the way... telling us about our itenary...places of interest, food to eat, buildings along the street and most importantly...places to shop!

was late for dinner so the organizing committee postponed it to half an hr later...din even bathe...got dressed rite away, freshened up and headed staright down to the ballroom...dinner was usual la...like those u normally go to...only this one had short and wacky performances, lucky draws, games, laughter, laughter and lots of laughter... food was a mixture of thai, asian and western cuisines...

went to bed quite late due to all the gossips and chatting wif my room mate... n she was the one who complained she was tired...

Day 2
went to the floating market 2 hrs away from the city...no, not exactly...the jeti was 2 hrs away from the city...from the jeti another half an hr by sampan to the market...and then got onto another sampan to move around the market...it was real hot and stuffy... and ever heard of sampan jam? well, it happned there...it amazes me to see senior thai citizens rowing a fully loaded sampan, bargain wif u, packed ur stuffs, receiving money and calling out to other customers...all AT ONCE! *thumbs up*...no way i can do dat...souveniers were all the same from sampan to sampan...only the food is different....cute, cheap and tasty...yummm...

then another 2 hrs back to the city for lunch...everything was well arranged...all we had to do was juz eat...hahaha...jammed to the gem factory after dat...no one bought anything from there...lolz....and then jammed to the leather factory...dunno for wat...coz we juz walked in...used the washroom and then walked straight out...totally mou liu...but it was in the itenary, so we HAD to go...jammed to MBK shopping mall after dat and we oni had 1 hr to shop b4 being whisked away for dinner..din buy anything from there oso anyway...coz it's juz like midvalley...wateva u see there, u'll c it in midvalley...and the prices are about the same too...so no point buying there oso...

then rushed to dinner and then rushed to watch thai girl show...hehhehe...nothing new...all the stunts were expected b4 we went in...it was so boring at one point dat some ppl actually fell asleep... the girls were not pretty anyway...neither were their bodies...so nothing to see actually....dun waste ur bahts there if u do go to thailand...after like an hr there, we were rushed to the nite bazaar...it was closing but we did get to grab some really cheap stuffs...hahhaha...dats were all the souveniers came from...

and then we were rushed back to the hotel to rest...one very rush day...

Day 3
planned to wake up early to shop at the morning market...but for the lazy me..might as well sleep la...hehhee...the market opens at 3 am u noe...how cud i possibly wake up dat early? anyway, we rushed to the Reclining Buddha after breakfast and then rushed to the safari world...more time wasted...we are adults...y do we need to go to the zoo for? animals dun interest us anymore...anyhow, it was another MUZ go type of thing...so we had no choice la...watched a lame cowboy show which was in thai..so we had no idea wat were they talking about oso...alot of running and shooting and bombings...i think kids wud like dat more...lolz...then rushed to lunch n then to a dolphin and whale show...now dat was nice...the oni nice thing in the safari...

it was raining when we left for pattaya...another 2-3 hrs...everyone was fast asleep on the bus...even the tour guide stopped entertaining us...coz no one was listening dy...lolz....reached pattaya late evening and then rushed to the massage parlour for our 2 hrs of thai massage...real syok man! this plump lady was cracking my every bone...ive never heard my bones making all these sounds b4...hahahhaa...and did i meantion i fell of the bed? yah, me...lolz

rushed to dinner and then rushed to watch the famous aqua show...superb! if they dun speak, u wont noe...they look much prettier and much shapely than anyone of us here...and their costumes were totally eye-catching...all the guys went ga-ga over them...well, they are guys too anyway...lolz...we were told dat the thai government actually subsidised their surgery...all they have to pay is 30 baht..dat means oni RM3! anyone wanna go for it?

then we checked into a budget hotel...real budget...rite in the middle of pattaya's nite life...real noisy... din sleep much dat nite too coz we went out to get a glimpse of pattaya's clubbing streets...there were clubs everywer...from lame ones to real poshy and happening ones...aquas were every wer... and plump ladies in skimpy outfits doing pole dancing...total eye sore! still tonnes of mat salleh were sitting and watching...it is different from our clubbing scenes...u wont noe if dat chick nx to u is male or female...

Day 4
headed to the coral island early in the morning...another rushed fun...imagine going to the beach for less than half a day...wat the heck...anyhow, did managed to parasail, went on the banana boat, dipped in clear water and did some light shopping... and then rushed back to the hotel to bathe and pack and then rushed to the airport for our flight home...skipped lunch dat day and eveyone was like rushing to get something to eat at the airport before boarding the flight...it was nite by the time i reached LCCT...tired and hungry...

All in all, i wud say this trip was a real rush case...worsen by jams and delays...sigh! tired from all the travelling than from the sight-seeing and shopping...but it was fun...din noe my colleagues all can be so wacky...out of the office...hahhaha...got to noe some new ppl...some which ive not even seen b4....din really get the names of all the places dat they took us...coz we were rushing in and out...and there was alwiz a serving of tom yam for our every meal...the taste gets better from place to place...but since i dun take spicy stuffs...so, not much effect on me...heheheh...and lucky us, we returned safe and sound rite before the military coup..phew!

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Missing dear friends

mind me...didnt plan to come in actually...was bz packing for tmr...but then tot of u ppl all of a sudden...

it was exactly one week ago dat we were having so much fun...dancing n laughing... miss dat moment...off and on i smiled as i tot of dat nite...wudnt it be great if dat nite didnt end? i've been keeping a group pic of us on my desk...each time i looked at it, it reminded me of all the times we've been thru....all the years of friendship we had....short but sweet...the memories will continue to stay...no matter how long...this week was a quiet one...din really hear from u all.....

it's very quiet on the segar-ians side too...no news oso wat so eva...really miss u all...u haf no idea how much...

at times like this...the emptiness creeps in again...
the hollowness stays on....

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Going outstation

juz wanna let u all noe ( for those who reads my stuffs ), i'll be away from kl for the next few weeks, starting from this sunday till almost the end of the month...i'll be up in the northern part of Malaysia for work purposes... and then i'll be heading straight to Bangkok for my company trip...but i will be back in between la...a day here n there...

anyone want any souveniers or food or wateva from ipoh, kedah, penang and places around there...lemme noe la...i'll try to get them for u guys IF i have time off from work...i can still be contacted via my cell...feel free to kacau me anytime....

sorry to dear li wei and fong mei coz i cant be wif u 2 to celebrate ur birthdays this year...happy birthday very in advance!

p/s : save up some gossips for me when i return, alrite? lolz....

till then, take care ppl!
toodles!

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Bullied?

am i being too nice? or i didnt noe how to say 'no'?

i felt being used and being taken advantaged of... issues dat others didnt wanna settle were pushed to me..i've been asked to go to places where others didnt wanna go...i even had to call up nasty nasty clients where the rest felt afraid to deal with...and wat can i say? im juz a newbie around...all they said were"it's a chance for u to learn and handle things"...is this the way to be?

i tried to see things in a brighter view...too see from a different perspective...dat i shudnt frown and to haf a more open mind on my job...i tried to take it easy and juz enjoy wateva dat i was asked to do...but those doesnt last long when the situation continues...the tasks are never-ending....i actually wud be glad to help around but to do stuffs that are out of my line, i wud like to think it's too much...i felt like hitting it back to my seniors but then i tot it wudnt be appropriate...who am i anyway rite?

i dunno how long i can put up with this mentally...im not really dat 'strong' after all... i head out to work every morning wondering if all these is wat i really liked to do...and did it really fulfill my purpose in life...i didnt find the passion in doing audit...i guess it's juz not my cup of tea...but my parents see it as a stable job...and i wud haf a bright future in this line...they are both at retiring age...and i understand it's the point in life where u wud feel unsecure about wat the future holds for u...this is the time for them to rely on their kids...but i am still at the cross road...unsure of which path to take..i didnt wanna turn into the wrong lane and spend the rest of my life regretting my decision....can i at least choose the path that i wanted to?

i've talked about this before...i've talked to mum about it, dat i felt like quitting...she gaf me this disappointed look and i knew right away dat i will be stuck doing this for quite some time...even tho she did say dat she wud support me if i wanted to do other things...but deep down it's not...dad seems very confident dat his girl wud continue his dream to be a successful accountant...little did dad know dat his little girl here is actually 'suffocating' and 'drowning' at the same time...

can someone guide me out of this maze? i cant find the door...and im afraid of being in the dark...

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