Wednesday, October 24, 2007

Friends with benefits


Ever heard about Friends with Benefits? I first heard about it through One Tree Hill. I forgot which episode was it in already. It was an album set up by Peyton and her biological mum Ellie for the cause of breast cancer. Supposedly to raise fund for it. Ellie died not long later bacause of the cancer. From what I presumed, 'friends with benefits' in this context would mean that there are people who will stand by your side in times of need. People that will never give up on you even when you feel like giving up yourself. Watch the series to get the full meaning of it.

In other context, according to UrbanDictionary.com, they laid out another meaning to it. 'Friends with benefits' here means 'two friends who have sexual relationship without being emotionally involved. Typically two good friends who have casual sex without having a monogamous relationship or any kind of commitment.' I guess it's pretty much self-explanatory. No further eleborations needed, right?

But what I really wanted to talk about is neither of those stated above. It's more to the lay man term. Just read 'friends with benefits' and tell me what comes to your mind at the very first instance. I would say friends who allow you to gain some benefits out of them. More to like friends for your use at your own discretion. You must be wondering, "Why would there be such dumb people in the world?". Believe me, there is. Some might not know that they aleady fall into the category of being used. Some might be doing it willingly. Some might be doing it to gain something back in return. In short, being a friend is tough. Being a good friend is even more harder.

I never knew by being friends can be so complicated. At least, that's not how I got the definition of 'friends' from. Nor have I grew up with these kind of friends. Yeah, call me naive for not having stepping out in the real world yet. If people keeps using you, would you want to call them friends still? "Can you come pick me up from work today? I don't know how to drive alone and he's rather busy at the moment." "Can you call him for me please? I'm out of credit." "Can you pay for my drink first? I'm kinda tight on cash." "I'm busy today. Can you accompany her out for me please?" "I'm bored today. Can you come and take me out shopping?" "He's here now. I think I'll follow him back. Thanks for hanging out with me. You can leave now." All the "pleases" and "thank yous" don't seem to have any effects anymore. Cause they no longer sound sincere. Even if they do, they were not really meant to be. Did you ever stop to think what your friend might feel before you ask for those favours? Maybe you didn't. Then maybe I should turn that question around, to something like this : What would feel if your friend did those very same things to you?

The word 'friends' today poses alot of meanings. They no longer take 'friends' as just friends like the way they used to. How would you define a 'friend' today? More importantly, how would you define a 'close friend' today? You won't be a friend if you are of no benefits. Nothing is that simple anymore.

And are you a 'friend with benefits'?

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Pampered. Rebellious. Princess.

When words get unspoken...

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