I've done all that. I got what I wanted. I did what I was supposed to do. And now, I'm stuck here, in the middle of this huge crossroad, unable to proceed into the appropriate direction. Unable to take a step. I left my reputable firm knowing that it wouldn't be a problem for me to venture on further. Three months down the road and I'm still here, undecided, weighing all the possible options. And I tell you, the options are aplenty.
Being young and without commitments, the world would really be at your feet. You've got nothing to loose, maybe, other than, time. But even then, it so darn difficult to make this one decision which you think would be the best. I have been hopping around, changing my mind numerous times and ended up no where. People asked, "What do you really want?" I have no absolute answer to that.
Each person has their two-cents worth of opinions when ever I asked for one. The more I hear, the more options being laid, the more I'm stuck at this very same spot. Non-moving. Yes, yes. I could take this route into commercial companies. Yes, yes. I could take this route into banking. Yes, yes. I could take this route into internal audit. Yes, yes. I could take this route into consultancy. Yes, yes. I could take this route into overseas postments. Yes, yes. I could take some time off to continue with MBA. Yes, yes. I could take this route of holiday visas. Yes, yes. I could take the route back to audit. They say by taking up accountancy, you'd have a wide variety of options to choose from. Indeed. Too many, I would say.
A little conversation with a local journalist had made the matter worse. I was being advised to follow my heart on my childhood ambition. Yes, yes. So now there is another option whereby I could ditch accounting once and for all and pursue a different field. A field which has not a very promising future. A field which I would need to start afresh and let go everything that I have accomplished so far.
And then there are peer pressures and pressures from society which couldn't be avoided. People tend to think negatively when they see you jobless. They start comparing in terms of status, in terms of wages, in terms of professions, in terms of benefits and all else in between. "Huh? You are still not working?" "Is there something wrong with her?" No matter how many times you tell yourself that your life is yours and it has got nothing to do with them, you'd still have the urge to excel and provide them a satisfactory explaination sooner or later.
Along the way came a warning. A warning from a seer that told me not to expect the expected from my chosen path. A warning that couldn't be ignored when my past and my present has been foretold in accuracy. Great! So I couldn't just accept that high paying offer cause it might not be high paying in the end. Or I should try the road less taken for it might turn out to be 'the one'.
Maybe I ought to go to the temple more often then maybe God would show me the way. But the thing is I'm not really a religious person. So this way wouldn't work. Perhaps I should just flip a coin? Or perhaps I could stare at the ceiling then maybe light will lead me the way...
1 whispered:
Look no further. Let the fluorescent light guide you! ROFL!
You received too many advices. Here's the ultimate one: I think the ultimate objective in life is to make yourself happy. Do what you think you would maximize your happiness. I know it's very vague and only yourself knows how you are going to be happy. But of course, please be realistic in your demand. Don't build castle in the air when you can't even fly.
As to what the seer says, I think the seer is too generalized in his/her 'divine seeing'. It doesn't mean that it will be accurate. The future is created by your actions. Fate is what has happened. Hence, how can you say it's preordained when you haven't take the first step? ;)
By the way, forget about the social perception. Don't let what other says affect your feelings. You are in control of your feeling. Not them. So just block it out.
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