An unblissful marriage

She made a wrong decision.

Looking back 30 years ago, she knew she shouldn't have walked down that aisle. She had been pretty then. Long dark hair, smooth fair skin, shy and demure. But age was catching up. She had rejected a marriage proposal from a merchant a couple of years back as she thought she was of no match to him. He came from the city and highly educated. She grew up in a small rural town with not much education. She had looked down on herself.

She finally settled for this man who went after her. He was not really her type. He was a layman who was brought up without much parental guidance. He didn't have the charms nor the personality that she preferred in a life long partner. But he had treated her well. He had treated her with respect. And he was a responsible man. So she gave him her hand to marriage. It seemed to be the only choice she had if she didn't want to be laughed at for still being single at 30.

She had had her expectations of him. She had had her demands. It was the only way she'd feel that the marriage was worth it. She wanted to make sure she didn't make the wrong move. She wanted something to boast back to the relatives. She wanted to be looked up upon. She didn't liked his family, so they bought a decent home in the city and moved in. She wanted him to work up the career ladder. But he was not an ambitious man. He'd rather spend time with the boys over soccer. She was furious with him when he didn't take that promotion which could provide them a better life. She was furious whenever he was back late with liquor stench all over him.

She had a little tinge of regret. Maybe it was really a wrong move. But she couldn't bear the thought of a divorce. She needed a man to rely on. And no one would want a married woman. She couldn't bear the sight of society looking down on her. A little hope came when her baby girl arrived. She could put all her expectations on this baby to make her proud. She would nourish this girl to be what she couldn't be herself. She named her Ann.

Things got alot better with the birth of Ann. She got all the attention she desired. Her baby girl had been adorable. Everyone was of praise to her. Even her husband had changed. He'd quit his night out with the boys. He'd quit drinking. He turned into a doting daddy to Ann. He worked hard to provide for the family. He finally got that much desired promotion. They bought a more spacious vehicle. Ann was everything to them now. She could see her life getting some where.

Her little girl grew up bubbly and healthy. She was a pretty little thing, resembled so much of her. She wanted the best for Ann. She got her into an expensive private school. Enrolled her into piano, ballet and arts. Hired a nanny to care for her every need. She watched her baby every step of the way. She would grow up to be successful. Her baby would make her proud one day. And she did. Ann scored the perfect grades in school. Got a scholarship to study law. Active in sports. And all the while, sweet and obedient.

She hadn't plan for this one day to come. Her husband quit his job out of rage. He had stayed at home since. Watching sports on ESPN all day. She had blamed him for causing their savings to run dry. She was furious at him for not taking any initiatives to get another job. She got mad when he didn't help with house chores after they let go of the nanny. She had to continue to work to support the family even though she had planned to retire in a year's time. She threw her tempers at him. Calling him a useless rat who depended on her when it should be otherwise. She'd slam the doors. Gave him the cold shoulder. Talked to him in a rude way. She complained to Ann, saying that she was disgusted with him. And that she was fed-up. She hadn't want to put up with him any longer. Ann had remained silent each time.

Ann had came up to her one fine morning. Ann had told her she didn't want to practise law anymore. She wanted to pursue further with arts instead, her true interest. She had screamed in her daughter's face, "What is in your head? How could you throw off everything? Art is useless. It's only good for a hobby. You can't survive with it!". Ann had been insistent. She felt her world came tumbling down. Ann had already dropped law way before. She didn't ask for her permission, she was merely informing her. How could her sweetie do this? All her hopes were gone. All her efforts all these years gone. All gone. Why is all this happening? Can't both of them see the rational behind her plans? It was for their own good.

An ambulance was called up. She had fainted. They'd rushed her to the hospital. Ann had given her another heart breaking news. It was all too much for her. She wouldn't be that mother-in-law that she'd dreamed of. She wouldn't be the grandma that she'd desired. Ann had persistently informed her another time that she wouldn't want to be married. Ann loved her single life and she would spend her days travelling around, while indulging in her arts. "Are you nuts? You are a girl. You need to be married and have a family. You don't want to be a spinster!" "No mum!", Ann had yelled back. "Everything is what you wanted it to be. I never wanted to be married. Just like I never wanted to study law! It was all for you. Not mine!" Ann had stormed out of the house. Her baby had screamed at her. It was all too much to bear.

Ann looked at her mum on the hospital bed. She saw the wrinkles and the worn out face. Her mum had lost weight. She knew her mum had worked hard. She knew her mum had tried to fix everything. She knew that her mum hadn't been entirely satisfied with the family. Her mum had thought she could deserve better from the very start. She knew her mum had regretted walking down the aisle with her dad. He was not the guy she really fell in love with. Although he had, most of the time, did everything he could to keep her happy. She was too absorbed by her own emotions that she failed to realise that her family were humans too. They have their own desires and dreams. They couldn't do what she had wanted all the time. She kept focusing on their weakness that she turned a blind eye to the strengths in them. At least her dad did not cheat on her. He didn't abuse the family. He was there for her whenever she needed him. Yes, he was lazy but it was not really a serious crime. He had fix the leaking tap all the time. He had meddle with the fuis box. He had fix her car when ever it broke down. He drew up their insurance plans. Didn't all these count?

Ann hadn't try to break her mum's heart. She didn't want to argue with her either. She wanted to succeed in her own way. In a way that she was happy. Not by others doing. Her mum had failed to see this. She had never been able to talk to her mum. Everytime she wanted to ask for an advise or a support, her mum had put her down. Her mum had always instructed rather than adviced. She didn't think her mum understood her at all. She never did anything wrong. She was never into drugs. She never dropped out of school. Her grades had been one of the best. She didn't fool around. Like the way with her dad, her mum was never satisfied. No matter how good they were, her mum was never satisfied.

She had given up all hope. Everything was not what she wanted it to be. She felt like nothing is hers any longer. She doesn't look at her husband anymore. She doesn't talk much to Ann anymore. They can go their own ways. She will go hers. They can do what ever they wanted. She won't step out of the house that often. She's afraid the neighbours might gossip and she had nothing fancy to boast about her family. She's ashamed of the family. She will do her part. She will no longer bother about the rest. Her husband can continue to watch ESPN till the day he dies. Ann can go where ever she wishes. Just that she won't be supporting her from now on. It's the way it's going to be now.

She deeply regretted ever getting married to him. If only she had more guts back then to agree to that city merchant. Her life would have been great. She heard he had migrated, with a business empire that would last for the next 50 decades. She had the chance to be rich and happy. She had blew it all away. And now she was stuck in this unblissful place. A place where she didn't really want to be.

She had only made that one wrong decision.......