I'm really getting slimmer!

Caught up with 'uncle' last night.The first thing he said when he saw me, "Eh, you are slimmer again..."

OMG! This has got to stop. I don't want to turn into a lidi. So many people have been telling me that I'm getting slimmer by the day. No. I'm not on diet. No. I'm not aneroxic.

No good. No good. I'm starting my weight gain plan this instant!

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An enchanting dinner with Dato' Sheila Majid

A very enchanting dinner indeed. It was an eye-opener to be able to get up close with Malaysia's Queen of Jazz.

It was a charity dinner. At the grand ballroom of Legend Hotel. I had the privilege of being invited by my boss.

She's an outstanding performer. She got the crowd going...singing along to all her songs. I felt like I'm from another era, cause other than I know that she's really big in Malaysia's music industry, I've got no clue on any of her songs. Apart from "Lagenda". Even then I don't know the full song. Talk about knowing the people in your own country. Hah! Embarassing.

My boss made it a point to buy all of her original albums after the dinner. Me? I take my hats off to her. She's really good. One of the few that's really really good. In Malaysia I mean. And she still looks very charming at age 40 plus. Did you know next year's going to be her 25th year aniversary in show biz? Yea. She's been here that long. And she is still going strong...

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In just a month...

It was really just a month. Exactly a month.

Life was moving at its usual pace. Things were the way it was. Self. Family. Friends. Work. Until a month ago. Something new crept up. Something unexpected. Something that sort of changed things for a little bit.

I was left with varied emotions. In this month alone, I've felt happy. I've felt glad. I've felt pampered. I've felt taken cared off. I've felt safe. And at the same time, I've felt afraid. I've felt sadness. I've felt pain. I've felt guilty. I've felt myself being selfish. I was in a confused state, where I no longer know which is the right thing to do. I no longer know which is the best thing that I should do.

Things are different now. For a little bit, as a new realization sets in. Conclusions have been reached. Promises have been made. All that is left was for time to do its job. Things will no longer be the same, for certain memories are definitely here to stay. Yet, it couldn't have been any better.

All these...in just merely a month....

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New Moon

Vampire vs warewolf. For a human. How much more interesting can that be?

The second sequel to the Twilight saga. Millions of teenage girls going ga-ga over the mysterious Edward Cullen. Even the appearance of the husky Jacob Black caused no threat to his standing.

I've read the book half way before heading to the theatres. Honestly, the book's rather boring. Too lengthy. It didn't catch my interest to read further, so I gave up and decided to watch the movie instead.

The movie, other than the hot cast, has nothing else to boast about. As with the book, it was rather boring. Predictable. And not much climax. So-so only. I wouldn't want to watch it a second time. Way below expectation from the first chapter.

If you asked me, I prefer the warewolf. Looked more healthy. More gaya. C'mon! I didn't give up on hot guys yet.

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Social Cocktail Party

The two things that would not change every year : liquor and dance.

Due to cost constraints, there was no annual dinner this year. Shucks! It was replaced by a cocktail party. Themed "Remembering MJ'. At the Royal Selangor Club. The crowd was much lesser than expected compared to the ones we had previous years. Less than 50%. Nevertheless, we still partied like mad. As those who turned up represented EY's happening clique. Ahem!

The majority of REC

So, with liquor free flow and MJ all throughout the night, you'd know how we ended up. Yeap. Almost everyone got drunk. Some puked. Some started to talk crap. Some even screamed and shouted. Alot of MJ imitations. Alot of cheerings. Alot of flirtings. Alot of dancings. Alot of everything la.

The scene was so chaotic that we don't even know the name of the band that played. We had no idea who won best dressed male and female. We had no idea what the heck was going on on stage. All we do know was to sing along to MJ and keep cheering. Hah!

My girls

(just look at the number of wine glasses...)

Although the party ended rather early, we had a great night. It was definitely a night to remember.

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White lies

Often, you'd get offended when you found out that you've been lied to. You'd be hurt when it's someone close to you. No matter how many "sorrys" have been said, it's not going to rectify the situation. What damage has been done, was being done. You just can't turn back time. You just can't take back the lies that's been said. Be it on purpose or not. Be it for the better or not. It is still a lie. And lies are never good. No matter what the reason. No matter what the situation. Why can't you just tell me the truth? Why is it so hard to do so? We can work things out. You don't have to this.

What if you found yourself lying instead? What if you found yourself saying something other than the truth? Now where would that place you? How would you see yourself?

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REC goes to Bangkok....

Again!!!

We were very excited the first time around, which was 3 years ago. But this time, many were not too keen in going. They had to make it compulsory to make us all go. Nevertheless, we obliged. For one last time. Hah!

So, here it is. REC in Bangkok. 19-21 October 2009.

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To the heart's desire?

If only we could ignore what others perceive. If only we could ignore what others have to say. If only we could ignore what the consequences would be. If only we wouldn't need to lie. If only we wouldn't need to cause so much pain. If only we could take back everything that has been said. If only we wouldn't need to be so cruel. If only we wouldn't need to deny. If only we could just follow the voices of our hearts.....

Certain things just happen. There isn't any reason. Yet, certain circumstances just wouldn't allow it to be. We try our best to act for the benefit of everyone. Even if it means to ignore what our heart says....

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Just a little

Just a little support...a little understanding...and a little love...is all it takes.

Yet, even just a little is just that too much to ask for. Even just a little is not permitted.

Just how much can one endure?

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Random thoughts

The steady breathing came down through the left ear. The chin rested comfortably on the left shoulder. The strong arms found their way around the neck. The heart beat was 'heard' down the spine. The grip was tight, yet it was secure. It was warm. A gaze to the left saw those tender brown eyes gazed back down. Ever so loving. Ever so caring. The grip grew tighter. The tender brown eyes closed. Taking in the moment. Savouring the few minutes that would end too soon.

A playful thought crept to mind. A hard bite was made to the right arm. The tender brown eyes flashed opened. A pained look stared back. But no words were let out. The breathing grew faster and unsteady. The message was clear. The bite was released. But the grip was never loose. The grip still held on. There was silence. The few minutes passed too quickly. The strong arms pulled back.....

"Everytime I close my eyes, I picture your arms around me. Damn. I miss you."

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Acknowledged 'princess'

All the while, I memang know I am one. Well taken cared off. Pampered. Somewhat baby-ied. But I didn't think that my case was that extreme. There are a lot others out there with more princessie attitudes than I do.

Recently, some one acknowledged the fact that I am indeed one. In a very serious manner. May be it was how I carried myself. Or may be it was the things that I've said. The person seemed kinda upset my princessie attitude.

Man! Was it that bad? Was I being that princessie all these while?

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I made her cry

I had never cried because of someone else and never has anyone else cried because of me. Yesterday was the first time ever that someone shed a tear because of what I did.

I was both mad and disappointed at what she said to me. The week had been crazy and the least I expected was this coming from her. "So, you gave her a piece of your mind?" "No. I gave her the cold shoulder the entire day." "Wow...that's even worse." I ignored her messages. I ignored her texts. I ignored her apologies. I ignored her presence. The mental torture I inflicted on her was too much for her to bear that in the end she broke down.

She's this person that has been there whenever I needed someone lately. She's this person that tried every way to cheer me up when times are bad. And yet this was how I repay her for all that she has done to me. I finally talked to her at the end of the day. She couldn't bear to look me in the eye without crying further.

I left her numerous messages after that. She replied after mid night. Out of all the long texts we exchanged, this particular line stayed in me, "Please don't ignore me....." I felt really bad. I told her to forget about it. I know she won't be able to. I know the incident has a left a mark on her. And there's nothing I can do to turn back time.....

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Don't you ever walk away again...

I watched you slowly disappeared out of sight, leaving nothing behind but me...

Don't you ever walk away again...

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Holding back

As I sat there in the dark, I was holding back. I have been holding back the sorrowness that's been lingering all throughout the day. I have been holding back the anger that was laid upon. I have been holding back the desire to apologise so deeply. I have been holding back the urge to say "thank you" a million times. I have been holding back the words that I've been so longing to utter. I have been holding back the thoughts that has been playing in my head. I have been holding back the screams that I had wanted to let out.

As I sat there in the dark, I didn't have the strength any longer to hold back the sobs that seep through.

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An early morning "dim sum"

It's been quite some time since I did something crazy. This person didn't fail to remind me that I am the entire time throughout it. It was not really that crazy all right? It was fun.

After a whole night out, I slept for 2 hours before waking someone else up at 6 am to have "dim sum" with me. I was hungry okay? And I know you're the one person who would agree to go with me. And you did. Even when I dragged you out of dreamland. May be you did it in a terpaksa manner. I wouldn't know if you were cursing before you got out of bed. Or may be you said yes just to entertain me a little bit. I wouldn't know.

But I did get my "dim sum" and the entire time, you kept looking at me, mumbling, "This is crazy. This is crazy. You are crazy. You are crazy." Yes. I am. And so are you. And so are the rest of the patrons. The place was actually packed with people at 6.30am! So we were not the only crazy ones.

Nevertheless, I was satisfied. My cravings were way satisfied....

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